


If we're not Friends

by satellitemoments



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Baker Harry, Football Player Louis, Friends to Lovers, Homophobic Language, M/M, Romance, performer harry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-04 09:26:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 36,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4132341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/satellitemoments/pseuds/satellitemoments
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Harry owns a bakery and plays guitar, Louis is a rising star in football. They meet and become friends. Harry is already in a relationship which becomes a bit of a problem the closer they get over time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first larry fic so I really hope you enjoy. :)
> 
> Btw I should probs warn you that the chapters get significantly longer as it goes on, sorry about that...

                                                        

 

 

Harry felt the heat of the oven radiate onto his face as he reached in for the tray with the cupcakes on. He took them out and swung the oven door shut with his free hand before gently placing them on the counter. The icing to decorate stood ready on the side patiently waiting for them to cool. A loose curl of hair fell free from his headscarf as he contemplated how he wanted them to look.

He always kept the people he was baking for in mind when decorating, and felt a certain need to make sure it suited them. Taste was obviously the most important part, but the appearance would be the first thing to bring a smile on his customer’s face if he got it right. A smile which he valued above all else. These cupcakes were intended for the 18th birthday party of a girl called Alicia who lived just down the road from him. Her requests in the order had been ambiguous, simply asking for fifty cupcakes, vanilla flavoured and with a ‘flowery’ theme. Usually Harry would go with a classic rose, but having seen Alicia often wearing daisy-like flower crowns, he decided he could use some fondant to create various small blossoms and combine that with some buttercream icing. He mused over the colour choice when his thoughts were broken by the familiar whistle of his phone notification,

 _Will be there around 11, earliest I can make it. –_ Will

Trying to not feel the disappointment too keenly, he shoved the phone back in his pocket and headed to the front of the shop. It was a little early but opening to customers would hopefully keep him busy and take his mind off the small sinking feeling in his gut.

The day went by with its usual buzz, plenty of locals stocking up on the basics and the occasional child getting excited when offered a colourful treat of some kind. He loved this side of the job and revelled in the sweet “thank you”s he got, usually combined with a wide-toothed grin and lit up eyes. Whenever there were no customers at the counter he’d return to working on the cupcakes in the back, making sure to constantly keep himself busy. Everything flowed so normally that he found himself in a type of trance, carrying out actions and speaking words to each person which fell like well-known lyrics from his lips.

‘Thanks, have a good day Mary!’ he called out to his last customer with a smile, before ducking down slightly to replace the gap her purchases had made in the display counter. He strained to keep his mind focused on the task and not think of the message. At least Will was coming, he kept telling himself. He’s making an effort, and Harry should appreciate that right? The knowledge that he was being ungrateful sat uncomfortably in the back of his mind.

He and Will had been in a relationship now for nearly a year and overall they were more than happy. Harry couldn’t believe his luck when they’d originally got together. Will was kind, intelligent and funny. Not to mention incredibly attractive with a hugely successful career as a lawyer already, at the young age of 24. Harry, on the other hand, was content with having achieved his own idea of happiness. He took over the bakery from its previous owner when he retired a year ago, and never looked back. He knew his life contrasted with Will’s in being simpler, but it had never been an issue for him because he loved it.

He loved coming up with new recipes and designs for people to try. Loved the feeling of having created some form of perfection when it turned out well. The only drawback had become that it meant their working hours differed somewhat, and Harry didn’t always fit into Will’s tightly packed schedule. It couldn’t be helped though, which was a fact Harry knew and respected. Only sometimes it took a little reminder to combat the disappointment he felt.

Display finished, he stood up straight and was caught off guard by the appearance of his next customer. He hadn’t heard anyone come in and the sight before him broke through his routine trance, leaving his mind blank as he clambered through his consciousness for words to say. Blue eyes. Sapphires which fixated themselves on his in a questioning manner, and a tilted smile framed by sharp cheekbones.

He was sure the guy must have said something but for some reason Harry couldn’t hear or find an immediate response. The silence seemed to linger awkwardly. His gaze was disrupted as a hand lifted to brush a fallen strand of caramel hair from those eyes. Instead it fell on the nearest object to him and reminded Harry of what his job actually was.

‘Bread?’ He blurted out, his voice rough and lacking any form of grace.

‘Uhm, no, cake. Ordered under the name ‘Payne’? You do have it right? I’m just collecting it for him.’

His voice had a cheeky tone to it with a clear Yorkshire accent breaking through. Harry felt his endearment only growing and tried to grasp hold of himself before appearing even more of an idiot than he’d already achieved. He’d only had three orders for that day and, from hearing the name, remembered the peculiar iced writing requested for one of them.

Grinning somewhat at the thought he answered, ‘Yep, it’s in the back. Just a sec.’

He returned in a matter of moments, the cake in a large box with ‘Payne’ scribbled on the top, balanced carefully on his hands. The man hadn’t noticed him yet, with his head tilted downwards and his hands fiddling with the bottom of his hoody.

‘Here you go,’ Harry spoke and he watched as his voice provoked a startled jolt in its recipient.

‘Right, uhm, thanks. How much do I owe you?’

‘Nothing.’ Harry watched as a quizzical expression crossed that flawless face. It only seemed to make it even cuter. He double-checked himself. ‘Cute’ wasn’t a word Harry usually associated with men, even those he was dating - but he failed to think of something more accurate in the moment.

Suddenly realising an explanation was awaited he followed it up with, ‘It’s optional but your friend decided to already pay in advance.’

‘Oh,’ he replied in a slow and understanding manner. He took the cake from the counter, before tipping his head in Harry’s direction and saying, ‘Right, well, thank you again, see ya!’

‘No problem. I hope “Nialler” enjoys it,’ Harry added jokingly as he recalled the words he’d iced onto the cake the night before. ‘Have a good day!’

The moment the door closed and left him alone, Harry let out a heavy sigh he hadn’t realised he’d been holding in. He watched through the bakery window as the guy hurried to a car parked on the edge of the pavement, and had the door opened for him from the inside, before hopping into the passenger seat. Suddenly Harry felt his day losing any sense of its previous routine normality, every action followed by a recollection of that soft smile in his mind.

 

‘That didn’t take long, what does it look like?’ Liam asked eagerly the moment the car door shut and he put the car back into movement. He spared a glance at Louis who was running his hand through his hair whilst letting out a sigh of frustration. ‘Lou?’

‘Huh?’

‘The cake – does it look any good?’

‘Oh, dunno.’ He answered dismissively, gaze drifting out of the window.

‘Well could you maybe take a second to open the damn box and take a look then?’ Liam probed with slight confusion to his tone. ‘Everything alright? You’re acting like you ran into a wall or something.’

‘I feel like it,’ he murmured as he attempted to find an opening to the cake box. ‘You failed to mention that what is possibly the most attractive person I have ever seen, works in that bakery.’

Liam grinned mockingly, ‘Who?’

‘I don’t know his name do I? Tall, long curly hair, absurdly big emerald eyes, dimpled smile that could rival a thousand puppies- ’

‘Wow Lou, I’ve never known you to be quite so poetic,’ Liam teased.

‘Oh shut up,’ he snapped, his northern accent breaking through particularly strong when worked up. ‘Point is, you let me walk in there looking like a tramp in my hoody and joggers, with the stench of a 15 hour coach journey behind me only to be faced by that angel of a man.’

‘Alright, don’t exaggerate you don’t smell that bad,’ he answered, still with an edge of humour to his voice, as he slowed down at a traffic light. ‘I’m trying to work out who you’re talking about. It’s not Harry is it?’

‘You know him?’

‘Not properly, no,’ he hesitated for a moment as the light turned green and he bent off into the road outside his flat. ‘My mum works in the same law firm as his boyfriend. That’s how I heard about the bakery. Apparently he worked there before taking over the place himself not long ago. His cakes in particular have earned a really good reputation around here.’

‘Well that he’s taken doesn’t surprise me in the least- ’

‘At least you know he likes men though, you never know how things turn out. Especially with you being around here for a while now,’ Liam interrupted him with a wink.

‘I’m pretty sure this is one of those situations where I do know,’ Louis answered as their car slowed down to halt just outside the red brick building that would be his home for the next year. ‘Not that I have any interest in being a relationship wrecker anyway. I’ll be just fine admiring from a distance thanks. Wait, so did you say he owns the bakery?’

‘Yeah, why?’

‘Just, that’s really impressive. Not many people already have their own business in what I’m assuming is, his early 20s.’ He contemplated before adding light-heartedly, ‘Puts us a little to shame doesn’t it?’

‘Hey!’ Liam answered sarcastically, ‘You just wait, in 2 years’ time we’ll be England’s answer to winning the world cup.’

Louis snorted with laughter as he lifted himself and the cake in his hands out of the car door, ‘Right. Of course we will.’

 

 

 

The beat booming from the speakers commanded Harry’s heart rate as he sipped at his beer a few times before placing it back on the bar. In an attempt to try and ignore his inevitable nerves, he plucked lightly on his guitar again to check it was tuned correctly despite him having done it only 15 minutes earlier.

Friday nights he’d been able to land a slot in ‘Oceana’ a club which was particularly popular with the locals. He’d never considered his love for music a career path, it had always been more a method of distraction and joy for himself. He only started writing his own songs a few years ago when he realised doing covers was no longer enough for him.

Thanks to his sister who used to be a waitress at Oceana, he once got permission to play there on a particularly empty night when it was nearly closing time and he was curious to know what it’d be like. After that the manager had offered he could come back the following week when they showcase new talents. He couldn’t believe quite how well it had gone, unsure of his own skills as a self-taught musician.

The feeling of performing though appealed to him almost as much as his baking did. He knew it was somewhat ego-centric, and had never thought of himself as vain, but the thrill of having an audience who clung onto every word he sang and danced along to his melodies, was overwhelming.

‘You’re up in 20 minutes Harry!’ Clara, the manager of the club, shouted to him from behind the bar. ‘There’s a party going on in the private bar next door and they’ve got their own music, but hopefully it shouldn’t be loud enough to disturb you.’

Harry gave her a thumbs up followed by an understanding smile, before watching her disappear again in the crowd. As he scanned the room, the purple tinted strobe lights around him highlighted the increasing audience he’d soon be playing to. He felt his throat get tight in nervous anticipation. His stage fright always seemed to appear just before his performance and slowly dissolved once he got into it.

The wish that Will could be there to distract him grew with every second it got closer to 10:30pm when he would be up. He leant his guitar against the bar as he turned to reach over for a glass of water, yet stopped in his tracks at a voice to the left of him which broke through the thrum of the music.

‘Oi! Where’s the loos love?’

He followed the sound with his eyes to confirm his memory with reality. Standing a few metres away from him, leaning over the bar and looking into the bartender’s eyes expectantly, was the very person that had been looming in his mind since he’d first seen him this morning.

Harry couldn’t help letting his eyes drift from the black vans with bare feet in them, up the tight dark skinny jeans which provided a flattering curve to the bum they held and the loose white tank top that revealed tanned arms with a stunning stag tattoo crowned by a heart, decorating the well- toned muscle underneath.

He gulped slightly as he took in the sight before him, then shook his head as if it would clear out the inappropriate thoughts building in his mind. Since when had it become ok for him to ogle at other men when in a steady relationship? He turned his head so as to force himself out of it, instead trying to focus on the set list he’d decided on for tonight. He barely heard the bartender give a muffled response and next time he looked up a few minutes later, the man was gone. Good, Harry tried to tell himself whilst ignoring the niggling disappointment underneath.

With 10 minutes to go, he picked up his guitar and made his way in the direction of the stage as he shoved past the throng of people either enjoying the effects of, or waiting for, their drinks.

 

Louis breathed a sigh of relief as he left the toilets, he’d been bursting for ages trying to even find them in this bloody maze of a place after Niall had said they were only round the corner. Yeah, several blimin’ corners, he thought to himself.

The heavy smell of mixed perfumes and sweat from the people surrounding him hung in the air as he attempted to make his way through the crowd. He felt his head spin slightly, a warning that he was perhaps on the brink of being more than just tipsy. He made a mental note to maybe ease off the shots from now on.

‘Tommo!’ A familiar Irish voice called to him, followed by the blond haired grinning face that was his friend coming towards him. ‘Where the hell have you been? Thought you were just havin’ a quick wee!’

‘Yeah well that was the plan, only your instructions weren’t exactly helpful in finding the-’ He stopped himself as he noticed Niall stumble forward over his own feet, causing him to collide with the person next to him. The blow knocked the man right of his feet as he lost balanced and fell forward onto his knees, sending what looked like a guitar flying towards Louis.

‘Oiii Niall, watch where the fuck you’re going!’ He shouted as he rushed to catch the guitar before it could fall victim to the multiple high heels threatening to smash it.

‘Sorry mate!’ Niall bellowed in the man’s ears as he placed a hand on his back and reached the other out to help him stand. ‘Everything alright? Should’ve watched where I was going, might’ve had a few too many… Sorry.’

‘Don’t worry about it,’ his deep voice drawled out, ‘No harm done.’

Louis felt his smile falter at the recognition of the person who was slowly standing up in front of him.

‘Curly.’ He breathed out the nickname he’d given in his thoughts before being able to engage his brain-to-mouth filter, and felt his face redden the moment he heard his own voice. ‘I mean, uhm… Hi, bakery guy, Harry I think right? I mean I don’t know, I just heard. There’s a Harry around here who makes good cakes and you, made a cake, I mean made a good cake, that I collected and… Hi.’

Absolute fucking train wreck. Louis couldn’t even entirely blame the alcohol for the speech disaster he’d just caused. He kept his eyes down, afraid of what he’d find in Harry’s expression if he looked up.

‘Yeah, no you’re right, Harry it is.’ A smile framed his tone which sent a soothing warmth over Louis’ nerves. ‘So uhm, what’s your name?’

‘Louis.’ His voice was so miniscule as he uttered the word that he felt certain it was drowned out by the music. He spared a look in Niall’s direction to find him watching with open curiosity. Hardly surprising. Last time Louis was known to be even close to shy was when their coach, Simon, had found out he’d been eating chips for lunch the day before a match and made him run 50 laps as a consequence. A rare moment when he had actually been ashamed enough to act somewhat withdrawn.

A momentary silence followed, broken by Niall reaching his arm across Louis to grab Harry’s hand in a violent shake, ‘Hi, I’m Niall! You play guitar?’

‘Yeah I’m up next actually,’ he answered as he took his guitar back, one of his large hands covering the same space that both of Louis’ previously had in holding it.

‘Sick, we’ll be watching, right Lou? And after that you should come join us! We’re in the room next door, drinks on us – let me make up for having just thrown you to the floor.’

‘Thanks, that’s really kind of you, but my boyfriend will be coming soon...’

‘Bring him too!’ was Niall’s simple solution.

For the first time in their exchange, Louis chanced a look at Harry. He was coyly tucking a long strand of shiny curls behind his left ear as his intense gaze repeatedly flicked between Niall and back down to Louis. The transparency of his sheer black shirt was difficult to ignore as the club lights glazed over it. Louis cleared his throat, hoping his mind would be able to follow through with something proper to say. Fortunately he was saved by the abrupt sound of the music cutting off and a man with an artificial voice calling across the horde –

‘Next we have a club favourite, give it up for the one and only HARRY STYLES!’

\--


	2. A month later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took longer than planned sorry have been really busy. But hopefully I can get the next chapter done soon:)
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I do writing it!

 

‘What are you doing Harold?’ Louis called across the pitch with bemusement as he watched every focused, yet shaky, step Harry took backwards. His hair was pulled into a bun so it couldn’t interfere with his sight, which lingered on the ball at least 4 metres infront of him before settling on the left side of the net behind Louis.

‘You do know you’re not meant to actually look at where you’re aiming to kick it? At least not that obviously.’

‘Heeeey,’ He gave Louis a disgruntled expression and placed both of his hands on hips, ‘how do you know I wasn’t trying to trick you?’

‘Sure you were’, amusement tugged on the corner of Louis’ mouth. It was nearly dark and they had been at it for about an hour now. Harry often took the opportunity when their team practice was over, to come by and let Louis attempt to teach him a few tricks. He stood there now, all long-limbed with tiny black shorts, loose top billowing slightly in the wind and forehead scrunched with how seriously he was taking this mock penalty shooting. Louis couldn’t help himself, he felt the familiar fondness build in him which Harry seemed to always unknowingly provoke.

It was like a switch Louis didn’t even know he had in him until Harry came along and flicked it. Every little thing, from his smile to his words, was framed by genuine goodness and a certain kind of innocence which contradicted his sturdy exterior to make Harry uniquely perfect. They had only known each other for one month, yet Louis knew he’d never met anyone like him. After the night at Oceana they had already exchanged numbers and he had fit into their friendship group like the final puzzle piece. Even more so, he had fit into Louis’ life. There was no real explanation for it, and Louis didn’t bother seeking one. That would mean confronting more than he was ready to acknowledge. A challenge he had long concluded, considering the situation, was not worth it. Instead he shrugged and held out his hands encouragingly before shouting, ‘Give it your best shot then.’

As if on cue, Harry began to run towards the ball, his pace increasing with every step. Though his strides were dubious, his right foot still managed to clip the ball and send it flying towards Louis. He felt a hard thump against his hands as they took the hit of the ball and blocked its path to the net. Seconds later Louis lay panting on the grass, arms hugging the ball to his chest and joyful laughter erupting from it.

‘Yes Hazza! That was your best one yet!’

Harry cheered loudly and pirouetted with his hands above his head several times, as he came running towards Louis. He didn’t hesitate for a second before taking the smaller man, who had only just stood up, into his arms for a hug which lifted Louis several centimetres off the ground.

‘Hey! Alright it wasn’t that bloody good, I still managed to stop it!’ He tried to argue as he reluctantly felt his heart beat pick up at the feeling off Harry’s warmth encircling him, and the ends of his curls tickling his neck.

‘Come on Lou, we both know you’re always going to save it - otherwise your career choice would be questionable,’ He let go of their hug casually and took one short step back before continuing, ‘Point is, if you weren’t there, it would have actually gone in this time!’

‘I don’t think you quite understand the concept of penalties.’

Harry’s joy did not seem to falter at the accusation though, and Louis bathed in the way his green eyes seemed to focus the feeling on him. It was short-lived however, through the appearance of Niall and Liam walking towards them. They called their names repeatedly and waved a sheet of paper in the air.

‘Evenin'! Don’t worry we don’t want to disturb whatever the hell it is you two get up to,’ Niall teased. ‘Quick question, Simon wants us find out how many seats need to be reserved for each player’s guests at Thursday’s match and the dinner afterwards – Louis?’

He shrugged in response. ‘Uhm, none really? Apart from Harry here obviously. My family can’t make it since they’re still going to be on that cruise me stepdad booked ages ago.’

‘Oh alright.’ Liam said as he struggled to take note of what Louis was saying with the wind blowing at the paper he was writing on.

‘Actually Lou,’ Harry’s voice piped up from behind him followed by a gentle tapping on his shoulder. ‘About Thursday…’

Louis could feel disappointment creeping upon him from Harry’s tone of voice alone. He tried to control it, told himself he had always played without an audience member and didn’t need one now either. With that in mind he straightened his back in preparation as he encouraged Harry to continue speaking. ‘Yeah?’

‘I found out yesterday that it’s the only day this week when Will’s going to get enough time off work to see me, and well, I wouldn’t want to bail on him…’

A feeling of greater uneasiness came over him at that. He played with his headband slightly as if distracted and shifted from foot to foot. He’d only met Will once before and that had been at the club. The guy seemed friendly enough on the surface, in fact he was probably friendly as a whole. Louis just couldn’t help thinking he was ignorant as to how lucky he was to have Harry in his life. He barely made time for him, and though Harry took it well, Louis had been around him long enough to notice the effort behind his dimpled smile when Will cancelled.

‘So I was wondering, as long as it’s alright with you. Would it be ok for him to come to your match too?’

Oh. Louis surprise must have been written on his face as the next second Harry was hastily speaking again.

‘You don’t mind do you? I figured this way I wouldn’t have to cancel on either of you.’

‘Course I don’t mind!’ Louis piped up, ‘The more the merrier. Two reservations then Liam.’

He ignored the sceptical look Liam gave him, who seemed to be more attune to Louis’ feelings than he himself was at times.

‘Thanks, you’re the best Lou.’ Harry said happily as he leant an arm on his shoulder.   

‘I know.’

‘Modest as well.’ Niall remarked sarcastically as he pulled the ball free from Louis’ hands and kicked it to Liam. ‘Shall we play in teams of two before calling it a night?’

‘Even I can admit that’s not exactly fair teams.’ Harry said as he shook his head at Niall.

‘Now come on, don’t put yourself down Hazza.’ Louis immediately spoke whilst pointing his finger at him. ‘Not only will we win, but we can bake them a smashing commiseration cake afterwards.’

Harry let out a cackle of laughter in response before holding a hand over his mouth to suppress it.

‘We’ll see.’ Liam answered with amusement, whilst following Niall who only rolled his eyes before heading towards their side of the pitch.

 

 

 

A few days later Harry was untying his apron and giving instructions to his new employee, Janet, who was currently doing patisserie at college and applied to Harry’s bakery in order to gain experience. He welcomed the company at work, and enjoyed teaching skills to someone who loved baking as much as he did. She’d been there long enough now that he had decided it was ok to leave the bakery open with her, whilst he popped out during his lunch break.

‘I won’t be more than an hour, if you need anything just give me a ring.’ He told her as he hurried to the tray full of pastries he’d baked that morning and grabbed two cinnamon rolls which he tucked into paper bags.

‘No worries, I’ll try not to burn the place down whilst you’re gone.’ 

‘Thanks, appreciate it.’ He chuckled as he grabbed his coat off the door and waved to her before heading out. His phone rang from his pocket just as he reached his car and he felt his smile grow as he read who it was on the display.

‘Will!’ He greeted happily as he slid into his car seat and placed his bags on the passenger seat. ‘What’s up?’

‘Hey, thought I’d call you quickly cause I just read your message about next Thursday. You want to go to a football match?’

‘Well, yeah. It’s Louis’ match remember? Against Liverpool. We’ll get box seats and everything, should be awesome.’

‘But neither of us are football fans… Can’t we just do something between us? Like a meal at that new restaurant I found the other day.’

Harry was silent for a few moments, chewing his lip slightly before he spoke, ‘Will, you know I can’t do that. I promised him I’d be there, it’s a really big deal that they put him in the starting eleven.’

‘Is it really though?’ Will’s tone became increasingly tired. ‘They’ll probably switch him off half way through, or before it even starts like last time. I don’t mean to be harsh Harry, but in all honesty he should have probably packed in the idea of being a professional player after whatever injury it was that made him quit for a year.’

‘That’s not true. He’s one of their best, he just needs time,’ Harry wasn’t really sure what he was saying anymore. He didn’t exactly know much about football after all. But he did know that in this case, Will was wrong. ‘Listen I’m about to drive so I’m gonna have to hang up. Can I call you again later about this? I’m sure we can find a compromise of some sort. How about we go to the match together but have dinner on our own afterwards?’

Will sighed through the phone. ‘I suppose so. Talk to you later then.’

‘Great thanks, love you.’

‘Love you too.’ He answered, before hanging up.

Harry’s conflicting thoughts occupied his mind as he pulled out of his parking spot and turned onto the road. He watched as in the distance the clouds fleetingly drifted across the sun and a greyness overcame the streets of Manchester.

 

 

 

Louis held his hand over his eyes as they peeled open to the sunlight filtering through his fingers. His head pounded slightly as he stretched himself awake by pulling his arms above his head. A tingle shot down his spine through to his flexing toes that peeked out of the end of the duvet. Subtly, he turned his head to the left. The sleeping face of his night before lay breathing gently next to him. Jason…no wait, Louis dug his teeth gently into his bottom lip as he contemplated. Was it Jack? Jack sounds about right. It was probably Jack. Either way from what his memory was gradually telling him, it hadn’t been a half bad night. He could feel the remnants of it clinging to his body, the discomfort and sweaty stench that accompanied it.

Slowly, and with effort, he dismantled himself from the bed and made his way across the room so as not to wake Jamie. Oh - it dawned on him, Jamie… that must be it. He knew he should probably be ashamed of how sleazy the scenario felt, but somehow that novelty had worn-off. It wasn’t as if he slept around a lot. It’s just when he did, the situation was more temporary than any kind of a relationship.

He grabbed a towel which was flung over his bedroom door and headed towards the bathroom, his bare feet padding gently on the wooden floor of his bedroom as he crossed it. He rubbed the heel of his hand over his right eye which seemed to be waking up slower than the other. The bathroom was contrastingly bright to his darkened room as he entered. The white tiled floor, the cream coloured walls and the breeze sifting through the tilted window made his senses startle with a chill. He hurried into the shower, eagerly closing the glass door behind him.

The shower knob was slightly loose, something Louis had been meaning to fix for a while now. He groaned as he added the extra strength necessary to push it in before being able to actually turn it to the temperature he wanted. A jolt of warmth shot through his body the moment the water fell onto his skin, he let it engulf him and huddled under the flow. He hummed softly a combination of various songs as the scent of the shower gel refreshed his skin. A hesitant knock on the bathroom door broke through his stupor followed by a voice,

‘Hey, thanks for last night.’ Jamie coughed coarsely, ‘so uhm, I better be going now...’

Louis rolled his eyes despite the fact that no one could see him.

‘Sure thing, see ya.’ He called back. There really was no need to sound so hesitant, he thought, it was pretty obvious he wanted Jamie to leave just as much as he himself did.

Fortunately, they both got what they wanted. The shuffling of Jamie’s feet could be heard as he made his way down the hall, slipped on his shoes and clicked the door shut behind him. Louis blotted out the sound as he washed the foaming shampoo out of his hair, and mentally planned out his day. He had practice at two o’clock today, which meant a quick late breakfast before he’d need to leave in an hour to make it at the pitch on time.

Shower done, he got out and lazily towelled himself off before digging around in his closet for his kit. On the one hand, he could remember washing it so that it would be ready for today’s session - something he had been impressed with himself for at the time. On the other, he could also remember being in a rush to leave by the time it was done and just shoving it in with the rest of his clothing.

‘For fucks sake,’ he muttered under his breath as he dug through various t-shirts which had never been properly folded to begin with. Organisation had never been a particularly strong skill of his. Eventually though, he breathed a sigh of relief as the familiar red material with white stripes appeared and he threw the shirt on before slipping into his shorts over his underwear. Socks he’d bother with later. Suddenly he realised he wasn’t the only awake person still in the flat, as the sound of the occasional cupboard being closed and dishes clinking against each other came from the kitchen. He had a pretty good guess who it would be, and felt his mood improve as he approached it.

 

‘Morning Harold!’ He beamed at Harry from the entrance to the kitchen as he leant against the doorframe. ‘Any particular reason why you’re here? I’m guessing you just missed me too much.’

Harry was standing at the counter in the midst of carefully placing a cinnamon swirl on each plate in front of him. By now he knew his way around the flat that Louis and Liam called home probably more than either of them did. They had only been living there for a month, yet Louis was already happily settled himself. After his injury two years ago, it had taken a full year for him to even recover to the extent that he could run properly again. That, followed by another year of ruthless training to bring himself back into shape, had led to his current move to Manchester. Fortunately for him Liam was the most supportive friend one could hope for. Not only had he convinced Simon to give him a trial year at Manchester United to test how well he could play, and whether he could keep up with the rest of the team. He had also found a decent flat for them to share and though the location was slightly far from the stadium where they practiced, it was far more than he could have otherwise hoped for. Technically they could both afford to live apart now, but somehow it had never been an option for either. Which was probably fortunate for Louis, considering his cooking and cleaning skills were questionable

About two weeks into their friendship Harry had been told where Louis and Liam hid their spare key, under this peculiar looking statue of a cat they can’t remember buying which stood by their door. Since then he had become a regular visitor. His eyebrows quirked at the sound of Louis’ voice, and his mouth curved into a smile as he looked up.

‘Don’t flatter yourself,’ he replied mockingly, ‘It’s not actually morning by the way, or at least in ten minutes it won’t be. I knew you had training at two today, figured I’d take my lunch break to pop round here and bring you breakfast.’

Louis was not touched, not in the least. Not one tiny bit. This was just Harry mocking him for having only woken up half an hour ago, when he had been active for the past five hours.

Still, he wouldn’t want to be rude. ‘Thank you.’ He commented gently as he squeezed his way past Harry and went towards the kettle.

A comfortable silence took over the room as Louis reached to the top cupboard for some mugs, threw a Yorkshire teabag in each, and filled the kettle at the tap before switching it on.

‘Uhm, Lou,’ He heard Harry shuffle behind him. His words sounded carefully chosen as he took his time to phrase them, ‘I bumped into someone leaving your flat as I came in… tall guy with like blond hair, he looked a bit of a mess, barely had his shoes on… Just out of curiosity… who was that?’

Louis swallowed briefly. The idea that Harry would eventually bump into one of his one night stands had never occurred to him. He didn’t think it would be an issue, yet all the same he feared being judged. The kettle promptly announced itself as done and Louis used it as an excuse for keeping his back to Harry as he filled each mug whilst speaking.

‘That, my dear Hazza’ he put on a light-hearted tone before continuing, ‘is the reason I am walking somewhat funny today.’

The laughter he’d hoped his flippant comment would provoke didn’t happen. Instead Louis felt their previous silence become awkward as he grabbed the milk from the fridge, before stirring it into the tea. He was pretty sure he’d never forced this much focus on to the simple process of making a cuppa. He tapped the teaspoon against the edge of a mug before tossing it in the sink. Then dared to face Harry, who was now sitting on the counter with his cinnamon swirl untouched on the plate next to him. His gaze was directed right at Louis, though it seemed distant as if he’d phased out for a moment. His lips were parted slightly as if in astonishment, and a red tint began to colour the edge of his cheeks.

Louis waved a hand mockingly in front of his face, ‘Hellooo, you alright there?’

Harry shook his head as if frustrated. ‘Sorry, I just, you took me by surprise.’

Louis wasn’t entirely sure what to make of that. He huffed a noise akin to laughter, uncertain of how else to respond other than to continue with his usual humour.

‘Gee Harry, I realise we can’t all be six foot tall with perfectly conditioned curls and have exceptional talents both musically and in the kitchen,’ he quickened his words as he realised he was steering away from his point. ‘But that doesn’t mean I’m a recluse either.’

He watched as Harry’s face revealed a flitting moment of confusion before settling itself as he spoke, ‘You know I didn’t mean it like that… Only, you never mentioned him before, I didn’t realise you were seeing someone.’

Louis choked on his tea slightly as he realised what Harry was actually saying.

‘You think I’m with Jamie? I’m not even sure that is his name,’ he looked down as he shook his head in amusement, ‘Trust me Haz, if I were ever in anything close to a relationship, it would be such a shock to everyone you would definitely know about it.’

Harry’s eyes were wide with curiosity as he took in Louis words. He licked his lips before going on to say, ‘But, you said he made you walk funny- I mean, so this was-’

‘Nothing.’ Louis interrupted him, determined to make it clear. He knew Harry, knew and hoped, he wouldn’t judge him. He continued to carry some sort of joking air to the conversation, afraid of how serious it was getting. ‘Simply put, I have needs.’

Harry gulped in response, his cheeks maintained a shade of red and he began to fidget with his fingers which were resting on his lap. Louis couldn’t understand his reaction. It didn’t seem judgemental, like he was about to tell him what a whore he must be and ask just how many people he’d slept with. Which in his defence, Louis thought, was not actually that high a number. He was clearly uncomfortable though which increasingly had the same effect on Louis.

‘Uhm, I mean, Sorry, I don’t mean to be overly blunt. Sorry…’

‘No you’re not, it makes sense,’ Harry hurriedly assured him. ‘I can see that’.

Louis felt the tension in his body release. Satisfied that Harry wasn’t suddenly disgusted by him, he drew a stool up to the counter and perched on the edge whilst nibbling his cinnamon roll. He smiled softly up at Harry as a sign of appreciation. Harry mirrored the smile and began to take a few sips of the tea Louis had placed next to him. He used his other hand to take one of his curls in his finger, twirling it several times before tucking it behind his ear.

‘But,’ Harry cleared his throat as he chose his words carefully in his mind, ‘You do know that if you wanted to, you could be in a relationship. Like, you say it as if that’s a good joke… I just want to make sure you realise Lou, that it would never come as a shock for someone to want you like that.’

Louis shuffled in his seat with embarrassment. Harry was using the tone he used when he wanted to make sure someone was seriously paying attention. But Louis knew from experience that he was wrong and wasn’t sure how to tell Harry without dismissing him.

‘It’s not like that Haz,’ He rubbed his hands together to clean them of crumbs with his eyes focused on Harry as he spoke, ‘I know I can convince people to want to be with me in the moment, but I’m not really the kind of person someone would want long –term. That’s just not who I am. Plus, if I’m honest there’s probably no one I’d really wanna put up with having around me all the time either.’

Harry looked like he was going to say something but decided not to. His eyelids fluttered for a few moments as he processed the information. Eventually he plastered on a mocking smile and said, ‘No one’s good enough for you then?’

‘Exactly young Harold.' Louis tapped him on the shoulder as he got up and started walking towards the door. 'Now, I've gotta go put me socks on and then we can be off.'

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. -

Harry watched from the doorway to the back of the bakery as Janet handed Louis a variation of small pastries to eat while he waited. He picked up a piece of brioche and started pulling out the raisins one by one. Satisfied when done, he shoved it in his mouth and chewed happily. He was sat on the edge of a counter with his legs swinging in the air slightly. Every few seconds he would take his phone out impatiently to type something, then slip it back into his pocket before eagerly helping himself to another one.

The sight made Harry shake his head in amusement. This was the Louis he had come to know, the one who had immediately become his closest friend and made him laugh on a daily basis. He was so cheeky and particular, yet at the same time he had a strangely sensitive side especially to the needs of those around him. It was everything Harry loved about Louis as his friend. But somehow his mind kept flicking back to yesterday. To how speechless only the thought of Louis’ “needs” and why he was “walking funny” had made him. He cleared his throat discreetly at the recalled imaginings of running his hands through thick caramel hair, inhaling the scent of shea nut tanned skin, and long eyelashes which lingered shut in pleasure as he ran his lips along the tattoos that covered it. He felt his face getting red again and willed himself to stop. What the fuck. Honestly, what did this say about him? Not only was he mentally invading the privacy of Louis to insanely inappropriate levels. But he obviously also had Will to keep in mind.  It meant nothing of course, probably just the result of a slight dry spell he’d been going through since Will’s boss had demanded that he stay in London longer to be more “time effective” at work. It didn’t help his guilt though. Harry rubbed his hand over his face and turned away from Louis, as if he might otherwise be able to read his mind.

Just as he turned, the door to the bakery opened and Niall came bounding in. His hair was perfectly styled with the ends stood up, and the blonde was darker than when Harry had last seen it. Clearly he hadn’t bothered yet to get the tips redone. He raised a hand in Harry’s direction as he came in and despite the pair of sunglasses which covered his eyes, it was obvious he was beaming from the giant smile that spread across his face.

‘Harrrrrryyyyy!’ He called far louder than necessary. ‘Looking good as always.’

Harry laughed gently in response. ‘Likewise my friend.’

‘Of course,’ Niall winked as he took his sunglasses off and hooked them onto the neckline of his top. ‘Louis is in the back I’m guessing? Was told to meet him here so I could borrow his extra shin pads before training. I might have lost mine overnight somehow and Simon would not thank me for that…’

Harry noticed a group of people already start to form outside the Bakery window, collectively they were pointing in Niall’s direction and pulling camera phones out. He couldn’t imagine what it must be like to be noticed even in a random place like this in the middle of Manchester. He knew if Louis’ success continued it would soon be the same for him too and tried to picture how he’d deal with it

‘Uhm yeah he is,’ he answered, his gaze distracted by the commotion outside. ‘Do you want a pastry or something before you go? On the house.’

‘Thanks, but no-can-do. We’re under strict dietary orders a few days before a match.’

Harry’s attention was brought straight back to Niall at that. He raised an eyebrow questioningly as he spoke, ‘As in, all of you on the team have those orders?’

‘Yeah, why?’

‘That little shit.’ He mumbled, before plastering on a false grin across his face. ‘Would you excuse me for just a moment?’

He spun around and strutted into the back where Louis was currently licking his fingers from a jam tart he was eating. Without saying a word he walked up to him and took it from Louis' hands before placing it on the plate with the rest of the remaining goods which he then carried to the other end of the room, way out of his reach.

‘Hey! The fuck Haz, I was eating that.’

‘I know.’

Louis clearly realised he was missing something, his shocked expression became more quizzical and his mouth hung open slightly, as if unsure as to whether it should argue or not.

‘Niall’s here. He mentioned something about a strict diet you guys have been told to follow.’

Louis’ eyes rolled and shoulders sagged a touch in response. He muttered angrily ‘Damn it Niall.’

‘You are seriously a walking contradiction. You train harder than any of the others, but find it difficult to stick to some of the most basic rules to keep you in shape.’

‘Your pastries are just too good to resist.’ Louis said with a tone of sarcastic flattery.

‘Thanks. But I’m pretty sure it’s more you and your constant rebellion against any kind of rules.’

Niall appeared in the back that moment, visibly curious as to what was taking so long.

‘When you’re ready Tommo?’

‘Right.’ Louis hopped off the counter in response, and shrugged his coat on so that he was ready to leave. As he made his way out, he came closer to Harry and had to tilt his head upwards somewhat to speak.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

Harry groaned in an effort to act more frustrated than he actually was. Louis simply lifted himself up onto his tiptoes before ruffling his hands across Harry’s tied back hair.

‘Thanks for the pastries all the same though.’ He winked before continuing, ‘See you Thursday.’

And with that, both he and Niall were gone. A few seconds later Harry noticed his reflection in the oven glass and chuckled to himself as he took the headband out in an attempt to fix the mess Louis had created.

 

 

There was a low murmur of voices coming from the various people scattered around the room and Harry felt himself faze out from them. He observed how gradually they would look at their watches, decide it was time to head to their seats and excuse themselves with their drinks in hand. He’d been to see a game at Old Trafford before, but that was a while ago, before he’d actually known three of Man U’s players. His view of the pitch was definitely better this time around. It hadn’t quite dawned on him until he entered the box seats Louis had reserved for him, what a big deal this was. The box was made of flawlessly white walls and a grey carpet which gave an almost clinical impression. A long black table stretched across the end of the room, which was neatly set with plates and rows of cutlery, as well as dark red napkins folded into standing fans. There were eight white chairs aligned along it, and by the last two there were little place cards with Harry and Will’s names on them. The set up faced a lengthy glass wall which overlooked the entire stadium through which they could watch the match, whilst being served a five star menu and some of the world’s most expensive wine.

Despite his initial qualms about the match, Will seemed to be enjoying it to the full. He was standing by their seats talking enthusiastically to an elder man about something or other. Harry admired how Will’s black suit fitted him impeccably, the blazer perfectly outlined the shoulders it covered and nipped inwards at the waist to highlight his flawless physique. Everything about him appeared so pristine yet he stood so casually in it, as if he wasn’t wearing thousands of dollars from his shoes to his tie.

Harry tugged self-consciously at his own collar which felt stiff around his neck despite the two top buttons being undone. He approached their seats, gently stroking Will’s back as he passed before sitting down. The variation of cutlery in front of him would have been confusing, weren’t it for a scene from ‘Pretty Woman’ he could distinctly remember about using it from the outside inwards. The build-up to the match had set his nerves on edge by now and he couldn’t sit still. He pictured Louis, getting ready to run out with the rest of the team from the tunnel. How excited and nervous he must be, to finally be starting in a Premier league team’s match. Harry had no idea how he’d done it. Only two years ago, just before he had been intended for a move to Chelsea FC, Louis had been injured so violently during a match by another player in the back of his knee that he could barely walk. An accident which could have ruined his entire career. Instead, he was here now. Harry smiled to himself as he lifted his wine glass to his lips and swallowed a few sips, the distinctly rich taste hit his tongue and sent a tingle through his mouth.

The lights in their box suddenly dimmed, as the pop music which had been booming outside was cut off and the people next to Harry who must be relatives of another player, settled down.

‘Will, it’s starting!’ He called over, his voice somewhat resembling that of an excited child looking forward to the beginning of a pantomime.

Will smiled at him in response as he closed off the conversation he was having. Harry turned his head back towards the glass wall and watched keenly as the teams came running out. He recognised Louis immediately, his small stature stood out from the rest of Manchester United as they walked onto the pitch, each with a child walking beside them. Louis’ head was turned towards the little girl whose hand was clinging on to his. He seemed to say something to her which provoked a giggle across her little face. They then walked into a line with both teams stood either side of the referee. Harry’s breath hitched in his throat as Louis appeared next to Liam on the big screen. His expression was strangely serious, with his shoulders back and his head held high. Not for the first time, Harry found himself admiring those eyes. The strength of the blue was made soft by the long eyelashes which occasionally batted over them. Louis’ eyes seemed to roam through the stadium, before they settled on the box seats where he knew Harry would be sitting. Just like that, the right side of his mouth hooked up into a grin and small crinkles of joy formed by his eyes. Though Harry knew he couldn’t actually see him from where he was, he still felt the urge to give a small wave in his direction.

What seemed like only a few seconds later, the whistle blew and the game kicked off. Harry tried to follow what was happening as the ball went from player to player, up and down the field. Next to him Will was eagerly tucking into the smoked salmon starter they had just been served but Harry hadn’t even glanced at yet. He spent every second focused on Louis. Even when he didn’t have the ball, Harry watched how he ran into spaces to try and be ready for the player on his team that did. He looked so aware of everything that was happening around him, as if he was always prepared to pounce if necessary. It wasn’t before long that the large electronic clock announced it was 15 minutes until half time. The ball had been bouncing back and forth in the Manchester United half for a while now and Harry found himself cursing along with every other Man United fan in the stadium every time it got close to their goal.

Then, out of nowhere Louis somehow managed to interrupt a Liverpool pass and ran with it down the pitch before the other players could catch on to what was even happening. His muscular legs seemed to have a mind of their own as he sped past the defence. He dodged every player that attempted to stop him, his feet playing tricks on them as if it was a dance. Just as he got to the edge of the penalty zone he took a shot before the defence could catch up. His right leg stretched out with the force of his kick as he fell on to his back and sent the ball soaring into the goal so fast that the goalie could do little more than watch.

Harry couldn’t think with the amount of ecstasy that overcame him. He stood up, arms in the air and cheered.

‘YES LOUIS! FUCKING YES’, his head was vibrating with happiness as he watched Louis, still lying down, stretch his hands above his head and shout with the biggest smile on his face. Harry took a mental picture. He looked so perfect, full of life and pure elation. Within moments Liam and Niall were by his side, falling onto the ground and wrapping their arms around him. Soon the whole team was huddled around Louis’ celebrating the first goal of the match, whilst Liverpool remained spread out with frustrated demeanours. Harry felt a tug on his blazer forcing him to look down.

‘There’s no need to be quite so vocal Harry,’ Will was shooting him a concerned look, as if the whole room might be judging them for Harry’s outburst. Fortunately the others in their box were equally excited and out of their chairs hugging one another. Will tilted his head as he continued, ‘I have to admit it was a good goal though, at least it looked it. I’m not exactly an expert at this.’

‘It was incredible right? I can’t believe it, I’m so happy for him.’ Harry’s sight returned to the pitch where Louis’ teammates were starting to disband and return to their positions. Suddenly he caught a glimpse of Louis again. He was still lying on the floor, the smile on his face slowly slipping away as he sat up. Something was wrong. Harry could tell from the way he froze, his left leg already drawn up but the right one still lying straight. He wasn’t moving but no one seemed to notice yet. Harry’s heart rate suddenly sped with fear instead of euphoria.

‘Will, somethings wrong with his leg. The right one, his injury…’

Will looked over to where Louis was still on the pitch. ‘I’m sure he’s fine. Probably just trying to waste some time so that the whistle will blow soon and they can finish the first half on a high.’

‘No, he wouldn’t do that… I think he’s in pain.’

A second later he watched as Louis tried to move his right leg only to tilt his head back, mouth ajar as if he was screaming, and hands shakenly clutching his leg. His scream alerted the people around the edge of the pitch, and provoked a bunch of medics to come running onto the field with a stretcher. Harry’s hand anxiously grasped the edge of the table as he saw Louis be lifted onto the stretcher and carried off the field out of his sight.

‘I have to find him and check he’s going to be ok.’ Harry said determinedly as he threw his napkin on the table and turned to leave.

Will grabbed him by the hand before he could walk any further and stood up so that he was at eye level with Harry.

‘There’s no point. You’d never be able to get to him anyway with all the security, and even if you did it wouldn’t be of much use. You’re better off waiting here until we hear something.’

 

 

The lift pinged as soon as Louis prodded the up button with the end of one of his crutches and he quickly hobbled in. His leg still exploded with pain the moment he put any weight onto it. The medic hadn’t been kidding when he said it would be best to stay sitting for a while. But Louis being Louis had decided to ignore him anyway, he could sit upstairs and watch the rest of the match from there whilst making jokes at Harry. Even with Will there. Louis had no real reason to dislike the guy, especially if Harry loved him. He was going to be a supportive friend and such… at least he tried to tell himself that.

His head felt heavy on his shoulders as his mind spun around the events of the past hour. He leant it against the wall and sighed loudly. The floor numbers on the lift display flicked rapidly above him. Was he meant to be happy? Because he was, he really was. First game Simon had put him on the starting team and he was able to prove himself with a goal. Possibly the best goal he had scored in a long time. Alone the thought of it triggered a dazed smile onto Louis’ face. Only, what if they still doubted him? It was pretty obvious he still had a problem. Most players weren’t left incapacitated after one quick run and shot. Shrugging it off, he decided to focus on the positive and felt his face light up as the doors opened and he spotted Harry in the corner of the room. Walking with crutches proved to be an adjustable task as he struggled to maintain balance whilst hopping across the room.

‘Not much use, him scoring a goal only to have to be switched five minutes later.’

Louis stopped in his tracks the moment he heard Will’s words. All he saw was his back which was standing next to Harry’s who seemed to be restlessly shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Will poured some wine into Harry’s glass before continuing.

‘I mean, he’s going to kill himself at this rate. Surely his need for some kind of football glory isn’t worth that.’

Harry’s reply was muffled as he spoke ‘No he won’t… He’s just determined that’s all.’

But his tone sounded doubtful and Louis felt a bitter taste rise in his mouth.

‘Also it’s not that easy Will, football is all he’s ever known. Imagine if someone told you that law was no longer an option.’

‘Ok but eventually I would take another direction,’ Will finished his wine glass and placed it on the table in front of him. ‘What, is he too stupid to learn something else?’

‘I guess I must be.’

Louis had always had a hard time biting his tongue and this time proved to be no different. Both of them startled at the sound of his voice cutting through their murmured conversation. Harry spun around immediately, his face reddening and eyes wide the moment they met Louis’.

‘Lou-’

‘Save it,’ He snapped, hands shaking slightly now that his anger had reached its peak. How fucking dare they. ‘Don’t let me interrupt, it’s not like this has anything to do with me. I hope you enjoyed the meal and wine I paid for.’

He spun on his heels and tried to take off as quickly as his crutches would let him. Stupid Harry. Stupid Harry and his ignorant fuck of a boyfriend. His eyes stung as he pushed back the feeling that was really stewing beneath his anger. Disappointment, and something fairly close to humiliation.

He reached the lift doors and this time practically slammed the end of his crutch against the button calling for it. Heavy footsteps could be heard coming closer towards him from behind.

‘Louis, wait please!’

He stared at the lift doors willing them to open. What kind of curse was it that this time it took forever to reach his floor? He tapped his foot frustrated and willed himself to not turn around. The doors opened just as he felt Harry’s presence stop close behind him. He put both crutches in front of him and swung into the lift.

‘Lou, will you just look at me please? I can explain.’

‘I’m good thanks.’ Louis words rolled bitterly off his tongue. He didn’t care if he was being harsh. If it got him what he wanted which was to be left alone, it was worth it.

He reached to push the ground floor button and startled as a large hand grabbed his own before he could get to it. His head darted up to tell Harry where he could stick it. Only the words got caught in his throat the moment he saw him. He looked apologetic and resolute at the same time. His lips parted in hesitancy, but those deep green eyes pierced into Louis with purpose.

‘Harry, please just-’ He struggled to wriggle his hand free from Harry’s even though he was barely holding on tight. ‘Damn you and your ginormous hands. Seriously.’

Harry let go immediately, his arms falling to his side. Louis felt his hand regrettably crave the absence of his touch as soon as it was gone.

‘What you just heard, I’m so sorry. We shouldn’t have been speaking about you at all. I was just so worried and-’

‘Funny way of showing it.’ He pushed the button now that his hand was free and leant against the wall, the pain of his leg beginning to take its toll on his strength.

‘I know how it must have sounded, Will shouldn’t have spoken the way he did and I’m really so sorry. Please don’t be mad at me Lou.’

‘How it must have sounded?’ He imitated Harry’s words back at him and cocked his hip in an attempt to appear confrontational. ‘Oh I’m sorry was it actually meant to be a compliment? Which part? The bit where he made me seem like an attention-seeking cunt or an idiot with no hope in life?’

Harry shook his head furiously, ‘No Lou please you’re not either. You have to believe me, I just-’

‘You “just” what?’ Louis voice was raising itself again by now. Hurt and confusion all mixed into one.

They arrived on the ground floor and the sound from outside began to filter in as the doors opened. Harry turned and pushed the button to close them. Silence engulfed them again and Louis felt his emotions heighten within the compact space surrounding them. Harry lowered his voice as if afraid someone else would overhear them.

‘I just don’t understand. Why do you do it?’ He looked down at Louis’ knee before continuing. ‘You put yourself through so much, is it really only because you want to play football? I’m worried today proved it’s too much and… it’s not like you can’t do something different. You’re not stupid, you could do anything you wanted…’

‘Maybe I don’t want to do anything different. What is the problem with that?! You’ve only known me a month, who the hell are you to make assumptions about my life choices?’

 ‘The problem is that it’s a crap choice if it means you might not be able to walk in ten years’ time, just because you can’t get over an accident that happened two years ago!’

Harry’s face looked sheepish as soon as he stopped, seemingly shocked by his own boldness.

‘It wasn’t a fucking accident alright!’ Louis shouted. His thread of nerves snapped and he found himself plummet from any kind of restraint he’d been clinging on to. He took the opportunity of Harry’s double take to whack the button and storm out. It was more than he had ever intended to say, uncertainty as to what he had just done simmered in his mind as he limped through the wooden panelled corridor ahead of him.

Only he didn’t get very far before a stab of pain struck in his knee and he tumbled forward in agony. His hands clasped the cold plastic of the crutches as he leant forward whilst attempting to stay up.

‘Shit.’

All of a sudden, an arm delicately placed itself around his waist from behind. He recognised the comforting smell of Harry’s cologne mixed with a sweetness similar to honey which by now Louis had simply classified as his natural scent. He pulled himself up so that he was standing straight again and let his body act with its own will as it sunk backwards into the support of Harry’s arm.

‘Lou, I’m so sorry.’ Harry’s voice mumbled carefully into his ear and Louis felt his skin prickle at the proximity. ‘I don’t know what you meant back there and I do know you don’t want to see me anymore right now, but I can’t just watch you leave like this. You shouldn’t be straining your leg. If you want me to go I will… but at least let me get someone else to help.’

Louis didn’t say anything. Instead he lifted his arm up so that it rested around Harry’s shoulder as they stood side by side. His body automatically sagged its entire weight against Harry’s strong frame and he let out a sigh of the relief at the feeling of his muscles relaxing. A soothing warmth overcame his senses and forced his usual short-temper to melt away as he lost any kind of will to fight. The sound of the audience’s cheers at the ongoing match drifted in from outside. Someone must have scored, though which team it was he didn’t have a clue. Tiredness began to tug on his consciousness and the realisation hit that right now he didn’t care who would win. Instead he turned his head towards Harry but kept his eyes focused forward as he spoke.

‘He called me a fag,’ His words hung in the air as he allowed Harry to take them in. ‘After he kicked me in the leg. I thought it had been an accident, but then… he leant down as if to apologise and instead he, uhm, spat that word at me.’

The arm which had previously balanced lightly around Louis back now tensed, and he felt Harry’s hand tighten its hold on him as it dug into the polyester of his shirt. It was as if Harry was trying to physically protect him from that which had already happened. Though Louis knew that wasn’t possible, it calmed him nonetheless.

‘But, please, I don’t really want to talk about it,’ he continued before Harry could come up with something to say. ‘I- I haven’t said anything about it to anyone before… even though I get the feeling Liam suspects something. After all, I kind of went from being the world’s laziest footballer, to suddenly training every second I could.’

The last sentence was said with a humoured tone at the thought of his old carefree self. It seemed so long ago now and sometimes just thinking how much had changed since then, made Louis pause in disbelief.

‘I guess I just told myself, maybe I will give football up one day, but then it will be because I decide to and not because I was forced to by some narrow-minded twat.’

Just then a group of men who worked at the stadium, rushed through the corridor with walkie-talkies buzzing and Harry pulled Louis to the side with him as they made room. They kept still until the sound became increasingly distant.

‘Ok,’ Harry broke his silence with the simple word. It felt like a promise to Louis. That he wasn’t going to push to know more, but at the same time appreciated knowing this much.

‘I should never have doubted you as a person though-’

‘You didn’t Harry, honestly it’s fine. I would think I must be batshit crazy too.’

‘But you’re not. No one has the right to put you down. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone, but you’re so strong, what you’re doing it’s…’ He drifted off, seemingly unsure of what he was trying to actually say. ‘I’m really glad you’re my friend Lou. I don’t think you realise how special you are.’

Louis heart did tiny somersaults in his chest which spread to a genuine smile on his face. It was the kind of compliment he would usually never have taken seriously, but somehow hearing it from Harry made it believable. He didn’t know what he had done to deserve to have Harry in his life, but he took a moment to make a mental promise that he would never mess this up. No matter what he felt.

‘Likewise Harold.’  

‘You’re never going to accept that it’s just “Harry” are you?’ He rolled his eyes but the mischievous grin accompanying it told Louis he wasn’t bothered in the least. ‘By the way, your goal was incredible. Really, well done. You should have seen how amazing the reaction to it was.’

They said nothing else as they made their way through the corridors, and out of the back entrance to the stadium. Louis ignored the fact that he didn’t know the result of the game, or that all his stuff was still in the changing room and the rest of the team would probably wonder where he had gone off to. Instead he felt his cares slip away with his consciousness the moment he sat in the passenger seat of Harry’s car. He never noticed the hand which gently stroked his fringe to a side or the gaze which focused on his sleeping face before setting the car into motion to drive him home.

 

 

‘Where the bloody hell is he?!’ Simon yelled into the changing rooms when half an hour after the match, Louis was still nowhere to be seen. ‘I’ve got the medic breathing down my neck, complaining that he should have had another check-up before going anywhere and I need to talk to him about his performance today.’

Liam looked around the room as if Louis might appear out of thin air. Not much luck. He tied up the lace on his shoe before standing up straight and turned to face Simon whose expression now carried a heavy scowl. Before he could say anything, Niall came out the showers with a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair standing up in different ends. For some reason he was always the last to be ready after a game. Probably because he spent about an hour afterwards either celebrating or being miserable about it.

‘Well that could have gone worse,’ he announced to Liam – clearly unaware of Simon’s presence. 'I'm not sayin’ it was our best match ever. But it could have gone worse, thanks to our Tommo at least.’

‘It could have gone better as well.’ Simon’s serious voice replied before Liam could, and he watched as Niall stopped dead in his tracks with his grin wiped off his face. A few of the other lads left in the changing room sniggered at the reaction.

‘Niall have you seen Louis?’ Liam asked quickly in an attempt to save Niall from a greater lecture than necessary.

‘’Fraid not. Why he’s alright isn’t he? They sorted his leg out again? I assumed a couple of painkillers is all it’d take.’

‘He’d be just fine if he for once would do as he’s told.’ Simon answered firmly and Liam could practically feel his increasing frustration radiate off of him.

‘I’ll just give him a ring alright? I can let you know if we hear anything.’

Simon nodded before curtly saying, ‘I don’t appreciate having to chase down my players. You can tell him that when you get hold of him.’

Liam exhaled a groan of defeat once Simon left the room before digging around in his bag for his iPhone. He called up Louis’ number from the contacts and thumbed the green button. It only rang a few times before it picked up. A combination of relief and irritation provoked him to speak before Louis could even get a word in on the other end.

‘Louis, where the hell are you?! Simon is pissed you’ve disappeared, especially because there’s some doctor here pestering him about it. Apparently you should have stayed for a second check-up before going anywhere, which I’m assuming you chose to ignore.’

A cough resounded on the other end of the phone before careful words followed it.  ‘Uhm, sorry Liam, this is Harry… Lou’s just in the bathroom. I drove him back to your flat. I’m guessing now I wasn’t supposed to do that? He never mentioned needing a second check-up. Should I drive him back?’

Liam’s brain took a few seconds to catch on to the fact that he had aimed his rant at someone who wasn’t even Louis. ‘Harry? What on earth are you doing there? Is Will with you guys as well?’

‘No actually, it’s a long story and-’ Liam heard him be interrupted in the background of the call by Louis’ loud northern accent breaking through.

‘Hazza who are you talkin’ to?’

Harry must have answered quietly because the next second his voice was gone and replaced by Louis’.

‘Payno. What can I do for you? If it’s alright with you please, make it quick. I’m so tired I might just pass out again any moment now.’

He suddenly had so many questions to ask that Liam found himself struggling to choose what to say first. Somehow his mouth managed to sum them all up into one,

‘Louis, what the hell are you doing?’

‘You’what?’ Louis replied, clearly perplexed.

‘Simon’s been looking for you, the medic’s been looking for you, and we’ve been looking for you’ he blurted out, ‘and instead of being here like you were meant to be, you’re back at our flat with Harry, whilst Will is still here?’

‘Well, when you put it like that I can see why it seems a bit odd.’ Louis’ sleepy voice replied, more amused than anything else.

‘This isn’t funny, I’m worried about you.’

‘Liam, relax,’ Louis tone seemed to gain some gravity as he spoke. ‘I’ll go see the doctor guy tomorrow, I honestly didn’t realise he wanted me to wait around. And I’ll give Simon a ring tonight still. Alright?’

‘And Harry?’

‘What about him?’

‘Don’t act stupid with me Lou. You know what I’m talking about.’

Louis was silent on the other end. Instead there was a shuffling sound combined with that of a door closing as if he had left the room. When he did speak his voice was low and close to what Liam could only describe as snappy.

‘I don’t  _know_  what you’re talking about. Harry is only here because he happened to drive me home. That’s all there is to it.’

Liam contemplated what he ought to say next, uncertain as to how far he should push it.

‘Just, you’ve been acting different since you first met him, and now this… Remember he is already in a relationship, I don’t want to see you get hurt that’s all.’

‘Good because I’m not going to get hurt. You’re honestly reading too much into this.’

‘Alright, whatever you say,’ He shrugged, clearly unconvinced but not wanting to provoke the subject any further. ‘So, aren’t you going to ask how the game went?’

‘Oh yeah,’ Louis spoke as if it had been the last thing on his mind. Liam wasn’t sure what to make of that. For the past two years now, all Louis had ever cared about was the result of every football match he’d ever been in. For him to suddenly forget about a premier league one, in which he had even scored a goal, was more than odd. ‘So how’d it go?’

‘We drew. One-all.’ He stated simply.

‘Could be worse.’

‘Niall said the same.’

‘Well then it must be true.’

‘Not sure Simon would agree though.’ Liam joked back.

Louis gave a small huff of amusement in response.

‘I guess I’d better let you sleep now then,’ Liam said as he noticed Niall standing by the door ready to leave. He picked up his own bag before continuing, ‘Make sure you do call Simon though. I wasn’t kidding when I said he wasn’t happy.’

‘Will do. Thanks for everything.’

‘Yeah no worries. See ya tomorrow then.’ He said as he hung up, unsure as to whether he had actually achieved anything or not.

The problem was, even he couldn’t help but smile when he later got back to their flat. Harry had gone and Louis was long asleep, but on the stove stood some leftover pasta with homemade tomato sauce. On the shelf in the bathroom some muscle relief cream lay used outside of its packaging and by the doormat, Louis’ football boots stood clean and waiting to dry. All of which he knew Louis would never have bothered to do for himself were it not for the sudden presence of Harry’s care in his life. He couldn’t deny that the knowledge that someone was really looking out for him, to the extent that Louis actually welcomed that type of attention, was oddly reassuring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading thus far! Next chapter will be up asap...


	4. -

\---

With every foot Louis placed in front of the other, he felt his determination drain a little and the irony of Kanye West’s ‘Stronger’ playing in his ears at the same time wasn’t lost on him. He hated this part of training. It wasn’t even the exercise part which bothered him so much as the boredom of running on the spot for hours. He looked to his left where Liam was eagerly sprinting faced forward on his treadmill. Louis could only wonder incredulously how anyone could enjoy this. They’d been running for just over two hours now and he’d already mentally planned out his next two months, as well as reflected on favourite moments of his childhood just to past the time. He’d also examined the room three times over, despite how bare it was. The walls were a basic white, with the occasional poster of some guy who had probably taken steroids rather than any of the equipment in there, but it still had motivational purposes. A large flat screen TV hung in the centre which neither of them had bothered to turn on. Louis had tried it when he’d first arrived in Manchester and used this gym, but he’d spent more time flicking through the channels to find anything half decent to watch, than he had actually exercising. After that, it was just his iPod and thoughts he had to keep him going.

He felt a tinge of envy as he watched Liam now, running just as fast as he had when they’d started. It had been about two weeks since his leg had played up, and it was only beginning to feel normal again. The doctors had told him plenty of times what was wrong but all he knew was that it had to with joints and cartilage tears, which they called a severe case of “Puht-elofee-moral” pain or something like that. He’d been given specific stretches to do daily which were meant to help, but if he wanted to be on the pitch again soon, his workout routine couldn’t go entirely downhill. Even if it would have been the perfect excuse. Damn it, he thought. In an attempt at a final spurge of enthusiasm, he turned the speed of his own treadmill up and lifted his legs higher with more drive. Beads of sweat rolled down his forehead and back, as his heart increasingly thudded against his chest. The pain in is knee had become a numb status quo by now, there was no option but to just get used to it. He kept his breathing steady and swung his arms in a constant rhythm despite the strain which lay underneath. He barely heard the sound of the door to their room open and water bottles being placed on the floor.

‘Wow you guys are really in shape. Impressive.’ A northern accent similar to his own called out.

Louis crooked his head over his shoulder slightly to see who it was. Shit - not bad, was what first came to his mind at the sight of sculpted cheekbones, olive skin and luminous hazel eyes. The man was making his way towards them and stopped in front of Liam’s treadmill. Louis wondered at his lack of gym wear, despite how well the black slacks, white shirt, and leather shoes suited him.  

‘Hey - Zayn, alright?’ Liam said inbetween breaths with a small wave of greeting.

‘Yeah not bad, yourself?’ He returned as he gave Liam a once over and – was that a gulp? Louis was pretty sure he just saw this model-of-a-man gulp at Liam.

‘Never better,’ he answered before jutting a thumb in Louis’ direction, ‘that’s Louis, good mate and teammate. Louis, meet Zayn, owner of this gym, also a good friend.’

Louis sent a welcome smile and nod in Zayn’s direction, whilst at the same time mentally thanking himself for having decided to speed up when he did. His previous pace would have made him seem even more pathetic in this sudden room of flawless perfection.

‘Nice to meet you,’ Zayn flashed him a dazzling smile before continuing, ‘I recognise you actually. You scored that goal in the last Liverpool match. That was sick.’

Louis’ eyes widened slightly in disbelief at having being acknowledged so readily after what was only his first match for Manchester United. ‘Yeah, that was me. Thanks. It felt amazing.’

‘I bet it did.’ Zayn answered sincerely before turning his attention back to Liam. ‘Do you guys know how much longer you’ll be? Just so I make sure you can get out, technically we close early on a Sunday but I don’t mind staying around to lock up if you tell me when.’

‘Oh sorry,’ Liam hastily answered. ‘We’ll finish up now then. I didn’t realise the time, it always goes so fast when I’m running.’

Louis scoffed in shock at his comment before dialling the speed on his machine down for a cool off. ‘I’m pretty sure time actually goes backwards when I’m running.’

‘You really don’t have to stop, I don’t mind making the exception for you.’

Louis couldn’t help but notice that the second part of Zayn’s sentence was directed at Liam who seemed completely oblivious. Not that he liked jumping to conclusions, but he did consider himself somewhat of an expert in this area. He watched with interest as Zayn repeatedly pushed a lock of hair off his face which kept falling forward and looked up at Liam with something close to wonderment in his eyes. Yep, he was definitely right. Despite Louis’ pride at Liam being able to make such a catch, pity stirred beneath it with the knowledge that he was straight. At least, from what he knew, and they had been friends for almost ten years now. He wondered whether he ought to give Liam a hint, or whether it was better to keep silent for Zayn’s sake.

Occupied with his thoughts, he drowned out of the conversation and became agitated by the tug of his headband becoming too tight. He struggled to loosen it as bits of his hair fell forward onto his face. It was the longest it had ever been, and he was still getting used to how to best deal with it at times like this. Soon it would rival Harry’s long mane. Or not, he mused, Harry’s hair was beyond rivalry. He wondered what Harry was doing right now. Probably his lunchtime yoga routine, Louis grinned to himself.

Tired of his cool down, he figured he’d done enough and happily abandoned his treadmill with a towel swung over his shoulder. He spared a glance in Liam’s direction who seemed to have forgotten about finishing off and instead was in some deep conversation with Zayn. Louis couldn’t help pondering the fact that it was odd he hadn’t met Zayn before, especially going by how close they appeared to be. Not to mention the fact that he’d had been coming to this gym for almost a month now, why had he never met Liam’s mysterious hot pal. He pulled his tank top off and threw it into his bag whilst simultaneously scrambling through the smaller pocket for his phone. It was lit up with text notifications from the person he realised he’d subconsciously been hoping for. Three from Harry;

 _Try not to actually fall asleep whilst running today._ – H x

_Though don’t overdo it either, I know you pretended not to hear but Dr. Harris did actually say to avoid ‘sudden changes in the intensity of your workouts’ - so don’t. x_

_Hey, if you’re not busy, can you guys make it to my performance tonight? I have some amazing news. Would love to tell you in person and celebrate!_

Louis bit his lip as he contemplated what the amazing news must be. Waiting wasn’t exactly a strength of his and he wanted to know why he was happy for Harry now already. Still, excitement began to build in his mind at whatever it may be and he decided to make it clear to Harry by adding multiple exclamation marks in his reply.  

‘Three guesses who he’s messaging.’ Liam called out mockingly at Louis. ‘When you’ve finished fonding over your phone, we’re ready to go now.’

‘Zip it Payne.’ Louis shot back whilst tapping out a response on his phone.

‘Special someone?’ Zayn asked curiously. ‘How long have you been together?’

‘Nope.’ He elongated the word as he attempted to type and talk at the same time. ‘As in not together. He is special but not my someone. I don’t have a someone.’

‘Oh I see.’

‘Hey Liam, is it alright if instead of the movie tonight, we go to Oceana? Harry’s performing and he wants us to be there.’ Louis said whilst trying to feign an indifferent tone. ‘Apparently he has some good news to tell. Zayn you could come too if you like?’

Zayn’s eyes widened a little as they darted back and forth between Louis and Liam.

‘Sounds great, I’d love to. As long as you really don’t mind me joining?’

‘Are you kidding? You’ll raise our group image to like an A.’ Louis pointed out mockingly, though simultaneously he felt it was a truth.

Liam rolled his eyes at Louis, before turning to Zayn. ‘I’m sorry, he does this. You’ll get used to it eventually.’

‘I’ll bear it as best as I can.’ Zayn was unable to hide a smile that grew on his lips, which lingered as he focused on Liam’s returning grin.

‘Hey I am here you know. When you’ve quite finished listing all that it takes to put up with me.’

Liam didn’t say anything and just threw Louis one of the water bottles before opening up one for himself which he gulped down eagerly as he led the way out of the room.

 

 

 

Harry plucked the familiar strings on his guitar as he sang the words to his most known song. It was always the final track he played on stage, and by now a large amount of Oceana’s regulars knew it to the extent that he would hear the audience singing it back to him. It was a whole new feeling in itself, as if he was communicating with the room in a way he would have never thought possible. The best part of it had now become when he would look to the centre back of the room where Louis, Liam and Niall would stand. They’d always be close to screaming the lyrics back at him, waving their arms in the air and jumping to the beat. It wasn’t exactly a graceful sight but Harry loved it.

Only, today Louis was doing the screaming on his own. A few hairs fell out of his perfected quiff as he bounced up and down, and his smile lit up all that surrounded him. Niall had vanished in the direction of the toilets a few songs back and though Liam was there too, he spent the entire time engrossed in a conversation with a man Harry had never seen before.

He took the opportunity on an instrumental part of the song, to nod his head in Liam’s direction and send a questioning look at Louis. Uncertain as to whether his notion would even be noticed, he was thrilled when Louis immediately stopped jumping and gave him a shrug in response. He followed it up with a glance in the man’s direction before tapping to fingers to his chin once and raising his eyebrow slightly in a suggestive manner as if to say ‘he’s hot though’. When it was that they had decided to use sign language to be able to communicate from afar, Harry wasn’t sure of, but he stifled a laugh at Louis’ nerve and tried to make out a better view of the person deserving of the compliment. Ok, so from what he could make out the guy wasn’t exactly ugly. In fact he could see why Louis would be interested, but something about him made Harry reluctant to agree entirely all the same. He kept a steady eye on them throughout his final verse, curious as to whether Louis would join in on the conversation to make a move. He didn’t though. Instead Harry finished the song on its final line with a bold grin as he watched Louis mouth along to it,

“Baby I’ll never leave if you keep holding me this way.”

It was followed by an eruption of loud applause and cheering, which he over-exaggeratingly bowed to whilst laughing giddily. Eventually it died out and he removed his guitar strap as he made his way off the stage. Just as he stepped off Will walked in from the door opposite. His pristine suit looked out of place in the casual dress of Oceana, and he had a briefcase which he held close to his body as if afraid that someone might otherwise get the chance to steal it. He waved when he saw Harry as he made his way towards him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before speaking

‘Hey, sorry I’m late. Had some stuff that needed finishing off.’ The music started to play again and he raised his voice in an attempt to be heard. ‘You said you have something you want to tell me?’

Harry nodded eagerly, though a part of him felt a sudden reluctance to tell Will first. It just became increasingly obvious how little he cared and it made him feel almost stupid, getting excited over something he knew Will would not react the same way too. It felt wrong somehow. As if he knew he wasn’t telling someone supportive. Someone who would be thrilled for him and act like his achievement was as important to them as it was to him. When once again, Will hadn’t even been bothered to be on time to watch Harry perform. He couldn’t remember the last time he had even heard one of his songs. He swallowed around his doubts as the two of them pushed through the crowds towards the exit where they would be able to hear each other properly. There was a part of the news though which he was hopeful Will would still get enthusiastic about and he reached a quick decision to start the conversation with that.

Louis watched from the bar with an emptiness in his stomach. Harry took Will out by the hand, gently tugging him through the crowds until they reached the door and pushed their way out into the fresh air. Was this the good news he had mentioned? Something to do with his relationship. Maybe Harry was going to ask Will to move in with him… Or what if he would ask… - Louis stopped his thoughts abruptly and there was a sudden vial taste in his mouth which he gulped down anxiously. He slid into the high stool in front of him and waved a hand towards the barman who was chatting to a group of people on the other end. He nodded at Louis as if to say he’d be right there, but then continued his conversation enthusiastically. Wow, great service, he thought to himself sarcastically as he tried to look at anything but that which was going on outside the window to the left of him. The problem was that he couldn’t even pretend to like Will anymore. He would never be rude to him directly for Harry’s sake, but alone being near that presumptuous idiot made him feel tense and sick to the stomach. He’d long stopped trying to convince himself that there must be something Harry sees in him that Louis was just overlooking. Their relationship seemed completely illogical to him. Harry deserved to be with someone five hundred times better than Will. Not that there was anyone really worthy, but Will sure as hell wasn’t it. Maybe it was the alcohol already in Louis’ system, or his current miserable state, but a sadistic voice in his head said ‘you aren’t either’.

He looked around for the others. Zayn had wanted a quick smoke, and Liam had gone out with him for the company. A year ago Louis would have joined, but he’d given up smoking the moment his training had begun again. Usually he was proud of that achievement but right now it only annoyed him more that he was stuck without the temporary relief a cigarette could bring.

Agitated, he pulled his phone out of his jeans pocket and typed a quick text to Niall,

_Where are you?_

 

 

‘How do you fancy a week’s holiday in Western-Super-Mare this summer?’ Harry blurted out the question the moment he and Will stepped onto the pavement. His voice bubbling with irrepressible eagerness. ‘I’ve been asked to perform at a festival they’re having. One of the acts dropped out last minute and the organisers heard some of my material and offered it to me!’

‘Uhm sure, when would it be? I’m pretty busy over the next month.’

Harry blinked slightly as he tried to muster enough strength to not let the casual reply bother him. It’s not like he had expected much more, but the realisation began to dawn on him that this was wrong.

‘In two weeks actually. But you don’t have to come,’ He paused as he decided whether he wanted to finish the sentence, ‘If it’s not important to you.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘You know what it means.’ His calm voice started to get shaky. Confrontation of this kind was unfamiliar territory to Harry and he was afraid of overreacting.

‘I really don’t want to sound needy, but I’ve just told you that someone liked my music enough to ask me to perform at a huge festival and you haven’t even said something close to “congrats Harry”.’

Will began to impatiently rub his hand over his face. ‘Look, I’ve had a long day at work and I’m tired. Can we discuss this another time please?’

‘That seems to be our solution to every problem though Will.’

‘Seriously Harry what do you want from me? Not all of us can have a carefree day –to-day life like you do! My job is vital to me and stressful, so I’m sorry if I’m not able to jump for joy every time something small happens in your day.’

‘I’m not asking you to,’ Harry said quietly, taken aback by the harshness of Will’s words.

‘Where is this even coming from?’ Will said even more exasperated than before. ‘Until recently you’ve never had a problem with how we do things. You accepted our lifestyle. It’s only since that bloody football lot have entered your life that you seem to think it not good enough anymore.’

‘Don’t,’ Harry said bluntly before Will could continue further. ‘Don’t bring them into this.’

‘Well it’s true isn’t it?’ Will snapped back, as if he had caught the answer to all of their problems and was unwilling to let it go. ‘You know I don’t mind you having other friends, but all I ever hear nowadays is “Louis this” or “Louis that”, I don’t actually give a damn what that idiot-’

‘I said don’t,’ Harry’s shoulders tensed and he locked his eyes onto Will’s to ensure his meaning was understood. ‘If you think that insulting any of them, _particularly_ _Louis_ , will somehow resolve this argument then all I can say is that you’re the only idiot around here.’

Will huffed in disbelief. It was the first time Harry had ever seen him speechless, and he would have been so himself if it weren’t for the determined protectiveness which was still stirring in him. He suddenly couldn’t remember why he had thought this was relationship was good for him. Every reason for being with Will seemed to crumble away as every reason to not be with him became clearer.

For what seemed like minutes, the only sound between them was the music booming through Oceana’s walls and the cold wind which blew through the street, lifting the curls around Harry’s face as it went by. His thoughts seemed to clarify with every second that past and he felt the tautness which had been growing in him dissolve as a result.

‘I was going to invite them to come along too.’ He said softly now. There was no point in arguing, but he realised he wasn’t going to continue the way he had before now either. ‘And I still intend to. Does this mean you definitely won’t come?’

Will did up the button of his blazer to prevent the wind from its constant attempts to lift and dishevel it. He smoothed one hand over it, and took his briefcase by the handle in the other.

‘I think, unless you quickly realise how lucky you are to have me in your life. I won’t be going anywhere with you Harry.’ He said with a blank expression.

That was it. Harry didn’t know what to say in response and strangely enough he wasn’t even hurt. After the past minutes, he was simply relieved to have the conversation over. It was like a burden had been taken off of him which he didn’t even know he had been carrying. He gave a Will a simple nod of acknowledgement, as if to say ‘I see what you’re saying’ and then turned his back on him. He walked the few paces back to the club entrance with an easiness in his stride which he felt wash over him as he pushed open the door and allowed its atmosphere to encompass him.

 

 

A loose thread on Louis t-shirt had been fascinating him now for a significant amount of time as he played with it impatiently which only made the damage worse. He felt like he was the dejected person in films, sitting at a bar on his own whilst drinking his sorrows away. Only he didn’t even have a drink yet. It didn’t get much more pathetic. He sighed as he made the sudden decision to snap out of it. Sitting up straight, he pulled down on his top slightly so that his collarbones were showing and scanned the room. Screw that. It didn’t matter what the hell was going on with Will and Harry right now, he was going to get laid tonight.

After a good amount of time hopefully watching though, it became clear that no one in the room interested his eyes whatsoever. Alcohol was the only solution he could think of. Sick of waiting to be served, he pulled himself up and leant over the bar. With his arms stretched out in front, he rummaged through what he could find and pulled out a bottle of Smirnoff with a shot glass. In its place he put down a few £10 notes, probably far too much, but he couldn’t be bothered to check how much it was.

Happy with his find, he bent his upper body to put the drink down before returning to his seat. Only his mission was interrupted when his sight landed on Harry standing a few metres away from him. His hair was windswept, and his large lips parted as his tongue darted over them. Louis stilled when he noticed how his darkened eyes were unabashedly focused on his arse which had been sticking out during his vodka hunt. The fact that it was obvious didn’t seem to have Harry in any kind of a  rush to redirect his gaze. Suddenly unsure of himself, Louis got down from where his feet had been balancing on the foot of the stool and turned to fully face him. He watched as Harry gave him a onceover, before stopping at Louis face. He didn’t speak and Louis’ automatic reaction was to do the same. He roamed over Harry’s body, from the beige boots up the perfect long legs with black jeans painted on and the white shirt which when illuminated, left little to the imagination. Louis swallowed around his increasingly dry throat as his thoughts became blurred by desire. Harry was looking at him with a mixture of confusion and unmistakable want. It didn’t make sense, this entire situation had come out of nowhere and yet the only thing running through his head was the longing to twist those long curls through his fingers whilst raising himself to meet Harry’s inviting lips. His growing need felt like a strained elastic band that would snap at any moment. Hesitantly, he opened his mouth to try and say something that would ground him again. Instead his only thought took over.

‘Harry.’

If Louis was thinking straight, he would have been embarrassed at how needy and coarse his voice sounded. But it only startled him more when he watched Harry’s expression change from indecisive to determined. His heart lurched with anticipation as Harry started to make his way towards him to close the short distance between them. What was this even, a few minutes ago he had been feeling bitter over Will and now-  Will.

The name resounded in Louis’ head and knocked his sanity back in place. There was a reason he couldn’t have what he wanted and that name was it. How could he ever think that Harry would be interested in him when he had Will. Shocked at his own stupidity, he spun around abruptly just as Harry reached him. His hands shaking slightly, he poured himself a shot and motioned to Harry whether he wanted one too. Harry coughed gently as if to clear his throat before he spoke,

‘Lou, can I talk to you?’

Louis knocked down his shot before looking up at him, unable to entirely hide the disappointment he was feeling from his face.

‘Uhm sure, is this about the good news? Go on tell me then, I’ve been waiting in suspense this long.’ He forced a spirited nature to his voice.

He felt Harry’s fingers ghost over his waist, and softly rest there once Louis made no objection. ‘Sort of. Yeah, and maybe another thing, I…’

Louis didn’t get a chance to find out what the other thing might be before Niall appeared out of nowhere, wrapping both of his arms around Harry from behind and slurring the words,

‘Hazzzzzaaa, there you are! And LOUIS! Here I am, got your message earlier, took me a while to find you!’

Louis scrunched his eyebrows slightly as if puzzled, ‘you could have just texted me back?’

Niall let go of Harry but kept one arm leant on him, clearly unable to stand up straight otherwise. He sounded just as confused as Louis had been when he spoke.

‘That’s a good point. I don’t know why I didn’t do that.’

Louis let out a little involuntary giggle at Niall’s terrible state. ‘Seriously mate what have you been drinking?’

‘M not sure actually, I got caught up in a hen party that’s going on over there.’ He waved his hand in a direction behind him as if to indicate where all these women were. ‘They’re really friendly though!’

‘I’m sure they are,’ Louis said as he decided what to do next. ‘Still we should probably get you home.’

‘Not yet, we’re still waiting to hear from Harry remember! That’s the reason i'm lucky enough to be here right now and not watching the Avengers.’

‘He’s right Harold, and it better be a bloody good reason why I’m here with his drunk Irish arse instead of stuffing myself with nachos whilst admiring Captain America’s.’ Louis said sarcastically as he attempted to help Niall with his balance by holding his other side up.

Louis tried to maintain the steadiness in his voice as he carried on. ‘Do you want me to go and find Liam whilst you get Will?’

‘What? – No.’ Harry said abruptly through all the chaos that was currently going on. ‘I mean, you can get Liam, but I think it would take too long. I didn’t see him outside either and Niall’s not looking too good right now. I can take him home, it’s on my way anyway.’

It was a vague excuse, but Louis didn’t want to be the one to stop Harry if he wanted to go. Especially not if he had made him uncomfortable in some way by essentially checking him out a few minutes ago. Though it’s not like it had been one-sided, was it?... His conviction faded as he tried to recall the moment in his memory. Was that why Harry didn’t want to get Will right now? Because he was afraid of how Louis would react seeing them together? Did he pity him? Louis hated this. Why couldn’t his stupid heart just accept that they were good friends? Why did it have to want more and possibly ruin that which they had?

‘Lou?’

‘Right yeah, If you’re sure, you can help him get home then. Good luck.’ He said quickly as he dismantled himself from Niall. Then added on for his own sanity’s sake, ‘Just, is everything ok Haz? You seemed so excited to tell us this news and now…’

‘I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring you all out for nothing, I’m just a bit tired now. Is it ok if I call you tomorrow morning instead?’

‘Hey it wasn’t for nothing. We still got to see you perform after all.’ Louis said, with his confidence returning he gave Harry a little encouraging wink. ‘Speak tomorrow then. I’ll go look for Liam and his new pal Zaynie.’

Harry watched him thoughtfully for a few seconds before he said quietly, ‘Thanks Lou. Good night.’

‘Night Haz.’

‘Night Tommo!’ Niall, who Louis actually thought had passed out by now, shouted and startled them both.

Louis watched hopelessly as they left, unsure as to how he should be feeling. He gave up on his vodka bottle, and left it standing on the bar to find Liam amongst the swarm of people around him.

 

 

 

‘You know, you’re a really good friend Harry.’ Niall slurred lovingly from the car seat next to Harry. ‘I’m glad I accidentally knocked you and your guitar over back then, means we have you in our lives now.’

Harry chuckled a low sound as he stuck the car keys into the ignition. ‘Thanks, I’m glad you knocked me over too.’

‘You know, I almost knocked over one of those girls earlier too. I was really apologetic as well, hadn’t even drunk anything at that point. But she just invited me to join their group so I ‘spose it worked out alright.’

‘ Well it’s a good thing Simon doesn’t let you guys go out that much,’ Harry said jokingly, ‘you’d unintentionally be beating up half of Oceana’s guests every night.’

Niall snorted with laughter in response then sat in contemplative silence for a bit. The radio played a distorted version of some Katy Perry song in the background, but Harry couldn’t be bothered to fix or turn it off. The haziness of it actually felt like an apt accompaniment to his current state of mind.

‘She was really nice as well, had a pretty-’ he coughed hesitantly, ‘pretty good smile.’

Harry nodded in understanding, determined to distract his mind from his own problems by focusing on Niall’s.

‘I’m hoping you asked for her number?’

‘What, why? Should I have done? I didn’t think to,’ he said as he reflected back on the night, ‘I was kind of distracted whenever she spoke to me, how did that not occur to me…’

Amused with Niall’s dumbfounded state, Harry put on an exaggerated voice and said mockingly, ‘Looks like somebody’s got a crush.’

‘Oh my God you’re right,’ Niall made an attempt to sit up straight but stopped immediately with a hand to his head when the world started spinning around him again. ‘I was basically acting just like Louis when he met you. Shit. That’s embarrassing.’

Harry slammed his foot down on the brakes just as the light ahead of them went red, forcing the car to come to an immediate halt which flung both of them against their seatbelts. Niall let out a series of coughs, followed by curses.

‘Fucking hell Harry. Are you trying to make me throw up? Because I’m pretty sure I’m gonna.’

‘What did you just say?’         

‘I said don’t kill me.’

‘Not that, before then,’ Harry could hear the blood rushing through his body in his ears as the pace of his heart increased tenfold, and he knew it had nothing to do with their almost-car accident.

‘Huh? I don’t know Harry, that I have a crush on the girl from the hen party but was too stupid to get her number?’ He yawned gloomily, ‘Hopefully I won’t remember that when I wake up.’

Harry’s need to know outweighed any ability he might have had to pretend Niall had never said anything. ‘About Louis? Does he have a- I mean when we met… did he like, _like_ me?’

‘Oh, uhm, well yeah.’ Niall seemed perplexed at Harry’s reaction, as if he should have known all along. ‘Not that he ever said anything to me. But you were there when you two bumped into each other that night weren’t you?’

The light turned green just in that moment and Harry tried to focus on the road whilst mentally replaying every detail of the scene from those many weeks ago, in his mind.

‘He couldn’t put a sentence together he was that taken aback by your beauty.’ Niall said casually, as if he wasn’t currently giving Harry a heart attack. ‘and I mean, when have you ever known Louis to introduce himself shyly like that? I know I sure haven’t. When I first met him he just shouted “call me Tommo” before throwing a cup of water over my head.’

A rush of warmth came over Harry as he recalled the way the white lights had danced over Louis’ features. How it had highlighted the eyelashes which fanned shadows over his cheekbones when he had looked downwards. How he had quietly announced his name when Harry had asked for it. The scene seemed almost delicate in his memory now.

He’d never thought about it to that extent though. Not with Will in his life and the constant efforts he had made to not let his thoughts on Louis go beyond friendship, because that would’ve been wrong and Louis was perfect but that didn’t matter. That hadn’t mattered, but now- suddenly in one night his entire perspective was shifting and the knowledge that he might even stand anything close to a shot with Louis was setting Harry on edge.

He swallowed as he tried to control his thoughts. His mind flicked back to what had happened in the club earlier, the way Louis had responded when he had caught him staring. He’d only meant to find Louis and tell him about what had happened. To check that he had done the right thing with Will, that he'd done what was best for himself. But his thoughts had just somehow become blurred when he'd seen Louis standing there. Harry knew he should have been embarrassed at the time but the equally enraptured response he'd gotten had only left him more caught in the moment. That is, until Louis had turned his back on him.

‘And now?’ His voice was barely audible, afraid of the answer he would hear.

Niall’s eyes were close to drooping shut and he sent Harry a lazy look of curiosity.

‘Now? I don’t know.’ He yawned again, this time even more heavily. ‘I’m assuming you’ve got nothing to worry about though. I’ve never known him to be the type to linger on a crush. Especially not when he doesn’t have chance considering you’re in a relationship already.’

Harry gripped the steering wheel tightly as he turned a corner, and tried to keep the speed of the car steady as he fought the inexplicable feeling of defeat creeping upon him.  

‘That being said,’ Niall continued, his voice suddenly more serious as if he was sobering up. ‘Louis cares for you so much. I’m pretty sure he would do anything for you. Though I can’t say in what way, he definitely loves you.’

 Harry bit his lip, trying to enforce some form of control over his reaction so as to not give Niall food for thought over it. He knew it was clear they were close, but hearing one of Louis' closest friends state it so simply sent a rush of bliss through him which accumulated to millions of butterflies fluttering in his stomach. In what way did Louis love him? He ached to find out and at the same time didn't want to... After all, Louis wasn't "the type to linger" and Harry knew that. _But what if_... He left the thought unfinished, instead replacing it with the pervading question of  _in what way do I love Louis?_ _  
_

By the time they pulled up at black gates and the security buzzed them in, Niall was passed out softly snoring on the passenger seat. Usually Harry would have been in awe of Niall’s place. It astounded him every time to see all that which money can actually buy. Though Liam and Louis’ flat was grand, they hadn’t splashed out nearly as much on their living arrangements as Niall. Probably because he had been financially secure for longer and had enough savings to last him several lifetimes.

This time though, as he drove up the endless driveway with the modern mansion appearing in the distance, Harry’s entire consciousness was occupied with Niall’s words and what they had meant. The only thing he was certain of was that he had been stupidly blind for the past few months. He wanted Louis, not just as a friend, but as everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this and are looking forward to the next chapter:)


	5. -

The whistle blew, one shrill sound cutting through the silence and within a millisecond every player on the pitch set into motion on whichever exercise they had been assigned. Simon stood in the corner over watching the scene like a hawk, seeking out any particular strengths or weaknesses they displayed. The wind was blowing strong around them and the nearing dark clouds threatened an inevitable shower. Judging by the focused expressions of the players though they weren’t bothered, their football boots dug into the ground with every step they took as they sprinted around cones with their eyes on the ball.

Harry settled onto one of the plastic chairs in the front row, careful not to disturb he quietly leant back and placed a plastic bag between his feet. He spotted Niall and Liam first. They were on the side closest to him, and the former stood in the goal whilst the latter was in a queue of five other players who would weave a ball through various cones before attempting a shot. Despite their best efforts though, only one ball had managed to get past Niall and into the back of the net.  Either Manchester United’s players were awful at actually shooting goals, or Niall really was the best goalie in the premier league at the moment. It was impressive to watch and Harry tried to convince himself that his interest in football technique was the only thing he cared about right now. He played distractedly with one of the rings on his finger as he fought the urge to scan the pitch for Louis.

He’d spent the entire night and morning mentally debating what he was going to do next, with little success. The final conclusion was to just act toward Louis how he had always done until he could figure stuff out better. He could totally do that. At least, that was the hope. Or if Harry was perfectly honest, the incredibly optimistic part of him hoped that if Louis were around a single Harry long enough, he’d realise how perfect they are for each other. Or something to that end… Though Harry wasn’t even sure how single he was. He’d tried getting hold of Will all morning in an attempt to have another talk and clarify what had actually occurred between them. He knew he wanted to make it clear that it was best for both of them to end the relationship, but maybe aim for a friendship. He couldn’t believe how easy this decision had suddenly become for him. A large part of him felt guilty that he wasn’t more upset, but for some reason it just wasn’t there. Maybe it was because he had the strong suspicion Will wouldn’t be. From the way he had just accepted Harry leaving him in the street yesterday, as if it was what he had hoped for.

Or perhaps it was because there was a genuine feeling of excitement building within him right now with the anticipation of being able to tell Louis his news. The contrast between that, and what had been his doubt of Will’s reaction, was as clear as it was indicative. Of course, he wasn’t entirely sure how Louis would react. His opportunity to perform in a music festival once was perhaps not such a big deal to someone who was training to play in football matches in front of an average audience of over fifty thousand people on a weekly basis. But somehow Harry just couldn’t believe that he would see it like that. Not when already on the first night they had met, after Harry’s performance Louis had immediately asked him to sign a napkin with the promise that he would be famous one day. From day one, he had just always been there to give a smile of encouragement to whatever Harry aspired to do. Even if it was just trying a new recipe at the bakery. Louis would demand to be the first to taste it.

The speed with which Harry had been turning the ring on his finger slowed down with the next thought which occurred to him. The festival wasn’t the only reason he had come to speak to Louis, he also needed to tell him about what had happened with Will. That in itself was big enough news for him to want to see Louis’ reaction. Harry did expect him to be glad of it. If anything just because despite Louis’ best efforts at hiding it, it was pretty obvious that he was not Will’s biggest fan. They'd simply not cottoned on to each other from the start. But there was undeniably a part of Harry which now hoped that Louis' dislike might just be for another reason. The rain started to fall in gentle drops from the sky, and the patter of it on the stadium roof which covered the seats felt like nature’s attempt to encourage him rather than what might usually have seemed like the reverse.

‘Haz!’ Louis jogged towards Harry with a smile of a thousand suns spread across his face. Even his tanned skin wasn’t dimmed by the dust covered sky, instead it seemed that the drops of rain only made it glisten more. Harry made an internal eye roll at the injustice of the sight. ‘You now have my full attention for the next fifteen minutes that are my break.’

‘Lucky me.’ Harry let the sarcastic tone roll of his tongue like a second nature when he was around Louis. He made a mental note of thanks that the awkwardness he’d been afraid of since the night before was completely non-existent.  

Louis did a little wave with his fingers in agreement, before placing both of his hands on the railing and swinging over to be on Harry’s side. Harry tried to ignore how Louis’ right leg lingered as it swung over, and how when landing, his hand rested on that knee a little too long for it to have been unintentional. His expression maintained its usual easiness though, and concealed the pain he must have felt from anyone else who might have been watching.

‘I brought you lunch.’ Harry said as he lifted the plastic bag for Louis to take. ‘And no there aren’t any pastries. But there is a bottle of water in there as well which you should finish. I only just read the other day how important it is to drink two litres of water a day, and you don’t drink nearly that much.’

Louis let out a huff followed by a series of high pitched complaints denying the accusations, which Harry decided to ignore by just shaking his head fondly. A few moments later, Louis was silent as he pulled out the bottle of water and took a few gulps. He then rummaged in the bag until he pulled out the roast chicken salad sandwich Harry had made, and started to munch on it bashfully as he muttered,

‘Thank you, tastes good.’

‘I thought you’d like it. I make it for myself a lot.’

‘But, you know,’ Louis swallowed a bite before continuing, his voice delicate. ‘You don’t have to like, always bring me food and drink and stuff, whenever you want to spend time with me. I will even put up with your company without it.’

‘I know.’ Harry smiled contently. ‘So, good news or uhm, other news first?’

Louis raised a questioning eyebrow at him as he chewed down the remnants of his sandwich. ‘Good news. Always.’

‘Ok,’ Harry was clearly nervous. He pulled his hair behind his head, and watched as Louis’ eyes tracked the motion. ‘I’ve sort of been, uhm. I got a phone call on Sunday, and basically, well, what happened was – they asked me to perform at the music festival in Weston-super-Mare this summer. It’s in two weeks, and if you can, I really want you all to com-’

Harry’s sentence was cut off as Louis threw himself against him in a one armed hug. The slight stubble on his chin grazed Harry’s cheek as words of congratulation poured out of him.

‘Shit Harry that’s amazing! I mean, fuck! An actual music festival, in Weston-super-Mare!’ Harry chuckled with joy as Louis continued to speak without stopping to breathe. ‘This is gonna be sick, you get to perform on the beach amongst all those other incredible musicians! Not that any of them have got anything on you obvs, you’re gonna blow them away. Damn, I’m going to be able to sell that autograph of yours for a fortune on eBay soon. Or I’ll probs just hold on to it as a sweet memory from when you weren’t too famous to talk to me.’

I’ll never be only a memory to you if you let me, Harry thought. He inhaled the familiar smell of shea nut as his nose grazed Louis neck when he pulled back and resisted the urge to act upon it.

‘Says the Premier League footballer.’ Harry pointed out, though his glee at Louis’ praise was obvious in his tone. ‘Pus, I am still first and foremost, a baker.’

Louis nodded appreciatively, ‘Sure, a renowned baker by day, and a rock star performing at sold out stadiums by night.’

‘Lou, I’m not Hannah Montana.’ Harry protested inbetween the laughter which was bubbling out of him.

Louis shrugged, his grin never disappearing of his face. ‘Seriously Haz though, I mean I’m so proud of you. I can come watch right?’

Harry wanted to shower Louis with little kisses all over his face for just how incredible he was. ‘Please do? And Liam and Niall too, I mean if they want to. I’ll probably be terrified when it comes to it, could do with your friendly faces.’

‘Yes! I’ll make sure we’re free,’ Louis looked absurdly happy as he continued to make plans, ‘How are we all getting there? We could all go in one of Niall’s cars, like a mini-road trip.’

 ‘Oh wait…’ He broke off, ‘you’ll probably want to go with Will right?’

Before Harry could respond, the piercing sound of Simon’s whistle blew from the pitch.

‘Five minutes and I want to see you all back in your places!’ He called out for all players to hear.

‘Shit, I better hurry up.’ Louis said as he pulled out the apple and water bottle still left from his lunch.

‘Actually Lou,’ Harry spoke quickly, determined to get the second part of his news out before the opportunity passed again. ‘That’s sort of the other thing I wanted to talk to you about.’

Louis fiddled with the lid of his water bottle whilst returning his attention back to Harry with inquisitive eyes. Those eyes, seriously, how are they that blue?! Focus, Harry told himself. It was mad how recently his mind seemed to be in a constant state of befuddlement. Right, no point in beating about the bush.

‘I think Will and me have broken up.’

Louis choked on his water and sprayed his shorts as well as the floor with it as he coughed his way through the shock.

‘Are you ok?’ Harry watched with concern, his hand ready to pat Louis’ back despite the fact that that would clearly do no good when water was the only thing he’d choked on.

‘Yeah, I’m-’ He coughed again a number of times before being able to talk again and his face was tinted a distinct red shade by now. ‘You think you what? Seriously? When? How?’

‘Yesterday… I,’ Harry hesitated hoping he wasn’t sounding as pathetic as he currently felt.

‘I told him about the festival and he wasn’t really bothered. I mean, it was obvious he didn’t want to come and I felt belittled somehow and I couldn’t help thinking he wasn’t really bothered about much to do with me really and somehow – I don’t know, it seems so stupid when I put it like that, but, I think I left him.’

Louis was watching him silently, with a state of disbelief written across his features.

‘You’re not saying anything, god Louis did I do the wrong thing? Was it too hasty of me? I know his job is important, I don’t mean to be selfish in taking him from it.’

‘No.’ The word fell certain as steel from Louis’ lips. ‘You’re not selfish Harry, never. I'm just surprised. I can’t believe it. How fucking dare he say he won't go? What kind of bullshit is that. Who the _hell_ is _he_ to put _you_ down?’

‘Don't worry about that part, it really doesn’t matter anymore, Lou’ Harry answered calmly, as he realised with slight humour that Will’s life would probably be at risk if he continued on that point. ‘It’s just, - and I know you never liked him much anyway, so this is probably me hoping you will say what I want to hear. But, I didn’t overreact did I?

‘Seriously Harry, don’t you dare feel bad about this. I’m so glad you made this decision. You’re far too good to be treated the way Will did, that was shit. You need someone who appreciates you every second of every day and never, ever, makes you feel less than the perfection that you are. I hated watching him blow you off all the time. What kind of a fucking loser treats someone like you in that way? You deserve something so much better, something great.’

‘You’re great.’ Harry mused on that thought as he looked out across the pitch and took in every sentiment Louis’ had expressed with relief. He felt inexplicably lightheaded with all the praise he’d received in the past few minutes. Usually he would never allow himself to believe it all, but Louis would never lie to him, and even if it wasn’t true, Louis clearly thought it was. That in itself was more than enough. Does this mean, that maybe…He stopped his train of thought when he realised that Louis was in fact no longer talking.

He turned his head to find Louis staring at him, an apple held midway to his mouth which he seemed to have forgotten about and his lips lingering open a little.

‘What?’ Harry asked at the surprise on Louis’ face.

‘I'm-’

‘Tomlinson! Get over here! Why is it we’re always waiting for you? Do you actually want to be on this team?’

Harry got up, ready to protest at Simon that if anyone undoubtedly wanted to be on his team then it was Louis and how dare he accuse him of anything else. But Louis placed a hand on his arm to stop him as he got himself up.

‘Don’t worry about it Haz. It’s just his way of making sure we stay on our toes.’ He let his arm rest on Harry’s back and stroked it gently before continuing. ‘I should probably get back to it though. Will you be ok? I can call you tonight? We can plan that trip?’

Harry felt like he was more ok than he had been in a long time. ‘Of course, sounds good. Just, thank you so so much Louis.’

‘I didn’t really do anything, but, you’re welcome.’ He shielded his eyes from the rain with a hand, and rested the other one the railing ready to swing back over on to the pitch again. ‘And thank you for my lunch. Seriously, well done again for the festival, my curly haired rock star.’

 _Yours - yes please._ Was all Harry could think as he watched Louis jog away from him.  _Sheesh, g_ _et a grip,_ his inner voice immediately responded with serious judgement. What the hell had he got himself in to.

 

 

‘You can’t seriously be considering putting him in the starting eleven again!’

A rough voice came from behind the door of Simon’s office just as Liam was finishing up for the day. He tried to ignore it but curiosity got the better of him. Carefully he snuck towards to door which was leant shut.

‘It’s not up to you to tell me what to consider Dean.’

Oh. Dean was one of the team’s usual centre forwards. That is, until Louis came along and it became very clear that was the position in which he was most valuable.

‘He’s practically a fucking cripple.’

‘Can you not put it quite like that please,’ Simon’s monotone voice replied. ‘His injury doesn’t hide the fact that he is incredibly skilled.’

Dean let out a disgruntled huff before continuing, ‘You can’t deny that it’s of no use if after fifteen minutes of play he had to be switched off.’

‘Well what’s the problem then? You still get to go on after him.’ Simon said almost mockingly.

‘The _problem_ is that it’s humiliating!’

‘Look, you can’t deny that you he scored that goal against Liverpool – not you. And if he hadn’t, we probably would have lost instead of drawn.’

Silence ensued whilst Dean seemed to be trying to decide what to say next. Now would probably be a good time to leave, Liam thought. Though at the same time he was the fighting the urge to storm into the office immediately, demanding to know how anyone could bash a teammate behind their back like this. He and Louis had never had an issue with Dean before. It had never even occurred to him that there would be bitterness there. Being forced out of, or switched from a position wasn’t an unusual occurrence in football. In the end the coach had to make the decision he thought best for their overall performance.

‘On the other hand, I can perhaps see where you are coming from. He has to be able to perform to the same standard as everyone else,’ Simon let out a sigh before he continued, ‘I can only promise you that I will think about it.’

That seemed to appease the situation as Liam heard a murmured thank you come from Dean, which he saw as his cue to leave before either of them caught him there.

_What the actual fuck._

Simon was going to think about it? What was there to think about? It was clear Dean was just being a jealous piece of shit.

His ability to focus on the road was limited as he drove off in the direction of ‘The Swan’. The pub next to Zayn’s gym had become a regular place for them to meet up and just chat. Though this time, Liam was pretty sure poor Zayn would just end up listening to him complain for the next two hours. It’s just, Louis had trained _really_ hard to get where he was now, and for someone as pathetic as Dean to get in the way of that. It wasn’t right.

He slammed his car door shut admittedly a little harder than was necessary, and made his way past the tables filled with people having dinner outside. He kept his sunglasses on, afraid of being recognised. He was grateful it hadn’t happened to such a large extent for him yet. It was great being able to fulfil his dream on the pitch without having to deal with as much attention as some players on the team did, off of it. In particular at times like this, when he would be afraid of being rude to someone just because they had caught him in a bad mood. The combined smell of the usual pub food like pies or fish and chips, as he passed was tempting him to the extent that his stomach made a slight rumble. He might just grab some chips to eat whilst he was here. Their next match wasn’t for another three weeks, he justified, so it was ok to treat himself a little now.

Zayn was sitting in the corner table and waved to him when he saw Liam walk in. He had his usual suave appearance about him, never seeming to falter on that point.

‘What happened?’ He asked as soon as Liam came within earshot, and pulled a chair out to sit down.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, twenty minutes ago you sent me a text with at least three smileys in telling me all about Harry’s festival in Weston-super-Mare, and now you look like you want to punch the wall three times.’ Zayn remarked curiously, ‘so what happened inbetween for that to happen?’

‘Sorry, I didn’t realise it was that obvious. I don’t mean to be miserable,’ he pushed his glasses up onto his head so that he could look at Zayn directly. ‘I just overheard Dean trying to get Louis’ kicked off the starting eleven for our next match. Apparently he can’t deal with the fact that someone else might just be better than him.’

‘Dean, as in Dean -Smith? The previous centre forward?’

‘Right, yeah sorry, should have made that clearer.’

Liam sometimes forgot that not everyone was surrounding by the footballing world to the extent that he was. It was one of the reasons he was really thankful for having this friendship with Zayn. He hadn’t realised before how much it dominated his life, and to have someone outside of that, was really doing him good. Especially someone with whom he could make such easy conversation with and learn more about a world outside of the pitch.

‘No worries, I love getting this insider information like I’m one of you. Don’t be surprised if tomorrow’s headlines are all “Trouble in the Manchester camp!”’ or something along those lines. I could do with the extra cash.’

Liam’s expression broke into an appreciative grin as he spoke, ‘Somehow I don’t think that’s going to happen.’

‘Nah, I suppose not.’ Zayn said just as he saw the waitress carrying their drinks looking for their table number, and waved her over. ‘By the way I already ordered us both half a pint, hope that’s alright.’

‘More than alright.’

They kept the conversation to a minimum as their drinks were placed in front of them, simply giving the waitress a thank you each before she left.

‘But there’s no way Louis will get taken off now anyway, is there? Not after his last goal?’

‘Simon’s considering it.’

‘What? Why? I don’t get it.’

‘His blimin’ knee,’ Liam rubbed a hand over his forehead in frustration. ‘I mean, it does give him a bit of trouble, but nowhere near as much as Dean was making it out to be.’

Zayn nodded in silent understanding. ‘He seemed fine when working out in the gym. I figured what had happened during that Liverpool game was just a one-off.’

‘It got injured about two years ago when Louis’ was actually in his best form. He could have given up, started something else, no one would have blamed him.’

He stopped briefly to sip on his beer, grateful for the refreshing feeling that accompanied it.

‘He didn’t though. Instead, he picked himself up and put himself into the position he’s in now. I don’t know what did it. I’ve known him for ages, and I thought I knew him at the time. But, I could never have guessed that he had that kind of motivation in him. It was really admiring to watch.’ Liam shook his head with humour at the sound of his own words. ‘God that sounds so sappy.’

‘A bit,’ Zayn smiled. It was a nice smile though, one which Liam liked to see because he knew it was always genuine. ‘But also really impressive.’

‘Thanks. I just can’t let anyone else’s spitefulness ruin this for Louis now.’

Zayn looked at him contemplatively. ‘I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but I’m afraid there’s not much more you can do Liam. In the end Simon’s decision is all that can determine it. Have you told Louis what you heard?’

‘No, not yet.’ He turned his attention to outside the window next to him which was distorted by the wavy glass panels. Various coloured shapes appeared on the other side whenever people walked by.

‘Should I tell him? I’m worried he’ll try to prove himself even more. I don’t know the extent to which the knee hurts him, sometimes I think it’s worse than he puts on. Which I know contradicts what I was saying a second ago about it not being as bad as Dean says, but it really isn’t. He’s still one of the top players on our team. I just don’t want him to overwork it either... I’m not being very clear am I?’

‘I think I know what you mean.’ Zayn said sympathetically. ‘You should still tell him though. What he then does with that information is his decision.’

Liam nodded in agreement before lifting his beer and rather gulping, than sipping it, down this time.

‘Change of topic maybe? How goes your latest masterpiece?’ He winked cheerfully and watched Zayn’s face light up as he began to speak about his art.

 

 

Louis flung himself onto his couch with full force the moment he entered the flat. His headphones fell out of his ears and they dangled aimlessly next to his head which was half off the edge. He forced off his football boots with either foot and let each clatter to the floor in a heap. The ceiling above him became increasingly blurred as his eyes strained to stay awake with the heaviness of his day pulling them down.

‘Shit.’ He breathed out quietly to the room and placed a hand over his chest with exhaustion. A dull ache lingered in all his muscles from the rigorous training he’d put himself through that day, his legs in particular felt like weights every time he moved them. What on earth had possessed him after the usual training today, to stay on and run laps? Just as he was beginning to relax, his stomach rumbled loudly and interrupted the clarity he was trying to create in his mind. Right, food.

A sigh escaped him as he waited a few seconds before making the effortful swing to be standing back on his feet. He dragged his way to the kitchen and opened a few cupboards without really knowing what he was looking for. Eventually a box of Coco Pops appeared which he grabbed eagerly.

He still needed to call Harry. Harry, who was now single. Harry, who is also your _friend_ and needs your _support_ right now, not you making a move on him. He’d been repeating the same sentiments to himself all day. It’s not like he even knew what he wanted from Harry, why the thought of him being available had literally taken priority over every other concern he had ever had. Except, he kind of did know.

And what on earth had Harry meant earlier when his response to Louis’ words was “you’re great” in that calm manner. For a moment Louis had almost had a heart attack thinking he meant that Louis was the ‘great’ thing Harry deserved. Did Harry not realise that him saying something as unassuming as that, was enough to make Louis’ brain shut down for a few seconds.

Grabbing his bowl of coco pops and milk carton, he returned to the living room and took his phone with him.

It rang twice before Harry picked up on the other end.

‘Lou!’

‘Evening Harold. How are you doing since, ya know…?’

‘I’m actually alright thanks. Been focusing on more, well, positive things. I’m in the middle of finishing a song in time for Weston-super-Mare.’ He said optimistically, ‘How’s your day been? You sound tired.’

‘Just a bit, the usual from training.’ Louis answered as he snuggled back into the comfort of his sofa. ‘There’s something I need to tell you first though, and I’m really sorry about this, I hope it’s not too much of an issue…’

‘Oh?’ Harry asked inquisitively.

‘About the festival… we can’t stay the whole week. Simon just isn’t having it. I even went and spoke to him after Niall did, to try and work my charm but he refused. We’ve got to train during the week so I’m afraid we’ll just be there from the Thursday to Sunday, not the rest of the week after… I’m really so sorry Haz….’

‘Stop apologising Lou it’s fine,’ Harry said reassuringly. ‘I’m really grateful you’re coming at all. It’s so sweet that you tried to convince Simon for longer, not sure I’d be able to, he’s kind of terrifying.’

Louis gave an attempt at a slight chuckle. ‘I am really sorry though, I do want you to know that. I wish I could be there the whole time for you.’

‘You being there for the weekend is already more than I would otherwise have.’ Harry said quietly, his appreciation shining through.  ‘So stop apologising, and instead lets plan how we’re gonna get there. I like the driving idea, if we have a car big enough?’

Louis snorted, ‘That we do. You can pick from the Niall Horan selection of giant Mercs, BMWs etc. I don’t even know why he has them. It’ll probably end up being Liam who does the actual driving.’

‘Honestly, poor Liam.’ Harry said jokingly, ‘He really is the dad of you lot.’

‘I’m not even going to try denying it.’ Louis answered happily as he munched away on his coco pops, satisfied with Harry’s response and falling into the conversation comfortably. ‘But to be fair, he puts himself in that role. He doesn’t dare sit in a car when I’m driving, thinks I’m “reckless”, whatever that’s supposed to mean.’

‘Can’t imagine what makes him say that.’

‘Rude.’

Harry’s little cackle was enough to make Louis forgive him though.

‘So we drive there,’ Harry said once he’d managed to control his laughter, ‘and where will you stay? The organisers have actually booked me in a hotel, but you guys can camp if you prefer that.’

‘Uhm, we’ll probs book the hotel too. As exciting as camping sounds, highly doubt us risking a bad back would do us any favours when we return.’

About an hour later most of the plans had been settled but the conversation drifted on, flowing from one topic to another without much end in sight. Louis heard the way Harry’s voice became increasingly rough the later it got. Heard the smile in his voice occasionally, and the soft sound of his low laugh which was like a bubble bath for Louis’ ears. Every now and then there was also the sound of him moving around, perhaps shifting items out of his way until he was comfortable. Louis loved it. Every moment felt so content, as if Harry was right next to him. He pictured his lovely green eyes gazing into his own, focusing on whatever was being said. Eventually they might drift shut a little with fatigue, but he’d blink them open again, always wanting to pay attention. Always having something else to say, in to the long hours of the night.

When at 6am the next morning the sound of Liam’s alarm ringing from his room nearby woke Louis up, he wasn’t surprised to find the line on his own phone still connected. At what point last night he or Harry had fallen asleep, he wasn’t sure. A quiet breathing sound came through the other end, implying he was still asleep. A warmth spread through Louis, as if the relaxation of being with Harry last night had extended into his day.

‘Morning Haz.’ Louis whispered gently, before pressing the ‘end call’ button and making his way from the couch to his own room to get ready for practice with a brightness in his step.

 

 

The next few days seemed to go by in a whirlwind of just sleeping, eating and playing football for Louis. It was as if his brain had gone into a lockdown mode of letting the physical routine takeover, whilst his mind was put on ice for the time being. It was all about the game. Their next match would be against Southampton - not their most difficult opponent, but at this point Louis knew that every result counted. He felt a certain tension in the team as well, as if everyone was desperate to prove themselves. Simon in particular was putting even more pressure on all the players. He had always been tough, but recently Louis had felt his eye be even more penetrating as it followed every move he took on the pitch. It was as if he was intentionally looking for something to criticise. More than once he could have sworn he caught Simon looking with unease at his leg. One time he’d accidentally missed a pass from Liam as it clipped his left foot instead and was sent in the wrong direction, to which Simon had shouted, ‘Don’t tell me your foot is as useless as your knee on that leg Tomlinson!’ Which, would have been fair enough except, wrong leg. Not to mention the fact that his knee was in the best shape it had been for a long time. He took mild painkillers daily, and that was enough to keep it going.

 It seemed increasingly strange to him, that the sport he had loved since he was able to stand, the one thing he had always thought was what he was meant to do in life, became the greatest burden in his life. He knew he wanted to do well, _had_ to do well almost, for his own sanity. Now that he had reached this point, there was no way he wanted to turn around. But at the same time he was becoming acutely aware of the difference of doing something because you really love it, and because you’re trying to prove a point. He’d always thought since his injury that both of those factors motivated him. Recently, he wasn’t so sure.

Sometimes when he’d pop by Harry’s bakery in the morning, he would just watch him at work, could see the joy it brought him to be making all of his various creations. Or when he spoke about the songs he was writing, he could hear the enthusiasm in his voice, the passion he had for music. It was one of the many things Louis admired about him. How he put every ounce of himself into that which he loved doing. At the same time, he couldn’t help wondering to what extent his own features might light up when he was playing football. Probably not as much, he couldn’t help admitting.

That, in combination with his constant internal battle over Harry, meant that by the time it was Wednesday night and he knew he didn’t have to get up early to head to the stadium, his head was a bit of a mess. The fact he physically was able to finally take a break, meant that mentally his thoughts were racing. He soaked in the bath tub, feeling every inch of his body from his skin to his muscles, soothed by the warmth. In an hour the lads would be over for a night of Fifa, and just general lazing around before heading off to Weston-super-Mare the next day. He tried to silence his thoughts by taking a large gulp of air and going under for as long as possible.

 

 

‘Hey!’ Louis snapped at Niall the moment he fouled one of his players in the game. ‘What the hell was that for?’

‘Oops, you were in my way.’

Louis scowled at him before throwing his control towards Harry.

‘Harold, you takeover, I need a wee.’

Harry shrugged and began clicking away on the control. At least in the game he felt he had a slightly better chance at being on the same level as the rest of them. He was sat on the floor with his back leant against the couch, whilst Niall sat on the one-seater, with his focus intently on the screen

‘By the way, when’s your next performance at Oceana? I’m thinking we do a proper night out there again.’ Niall piped up after a while.

‘Not sure actually, I think the Saturday after we get back.’ Harry answered casually. Then paused a moment when he realised, ‘Hang on, you just want to find hen-party-girl again don’t you?’

Niall grinned sheepishly before replying, ‘Maybe.’

‘I’m surprised you even remember her, considering your uhm, state, by the end of that night.’

 ‘Oh ha ha, I really wasn’t that bad.’

‘Well…’

‘If you’re going to play that game. I can actually remember most of that night, even the car ride home.’ He said before very pointedly looking at Harry, ‘And the conversation topics that came up.’

Harry felt his face freeze a little, certain the hint of a blush was creeping across his face. Meanwhile Niall returned to the game, seemingly unbothered by Harry’s reaction and instead using the opportunity to score a goal.

‘Not that it was anything important,’ Niall continued happily, ‘Though I have to admit it seems a little more so, now that I realise you broke up with Will that night - a break up which you don’t seem too upset about right now.’

The smugness in Niall’s tone didn’t escape Harry. That little shit knew exactly what he was implying, and the fact that he was pretty much close to the truth, meant Harry was beginning to realise he had underestimated Niall’s ability to put two and two together. The problem was, he couldn’t even deny it. He just kind of sat there in guilty silence.

‘Yes! I won.’ Niall called the moment the whistle blew on the game, which Harry had long abandoned. ‘Another round?’

Harry nodded hesitantly.

‘Uhm, Niall, you won’t say anything will you?’

‘To Louis? No, I’m hoping you will though.’ He grinned, looking thoroughly pleased with himself.

 

 

Louis was leaving the bathroom just as he saw Liam head out of his bedroom with a triumphant look on his face.

‘Packing all done.’ He stated proudly, ‘Now I can finally relax knowing we’ve got all the essentials together.’

‘Proud of you Li.’ Louis answered sarcastically. He couldn’t believe anyone was so organised when he himself didn’t have a clue what he was taking. His version of packing would just involve opening whatever case he could find tomorrow morning, and throwing random bits of clothing in.

‘Make fun of me all you want, but we both know you’ll be thankful your skin isn’t peeling with sunburn when I brought the sun crème and you didn’t.’

He had a point.

‘Before you go Louis, there’s actually something I’ve been meaning to tell you.’ Liam added uneasily.  

‘Ok, shoot.’ Louis told him assuredly. He straightened his glasses on his face to indicate he was paying attention, certain that this was going to be about Harry. He had felt Liam’s occasional steady gaze on them ever since the group had found out about the break-up. Considering the situation, Louis felt he’d been acting pretty normal though and was more than ready to defend his actions.

‘Ok, well. I really hope this doesn’t alarm you too much, cause it could all come to nothing and Dean’s just an incapable prick anyway but-’

‘Dean? As in Dean Smith? What?’

‘I overheard him trying to get you off the starting eleven for our next match. He wants to stay centre-forward, and was using your bad knee as a reason against you, which I think Simon might have taken seriously… I’m so sorry, I should have said something but I wasn’t sure what and at the same time I wasn’t exactly even meant to hear that talk and-’

‘Liam, it’s fine.’

‘There’s no way he’ll just kick you off though without- hang on, huh?’

‘It’s fine.’

‘No it isn’t?’

‘Yeah it is,’ Louis spoke calmly. ‘Sure I don’t want to be taken off. But if that’s the decision which is made, then there’s not much I can do about it. Plus Dean is right to an extent, I guess my knee does put me at a disadvantage.’

‘But, we need you on the team from the beginning. You’re far more skilled than Dean ever will be.’

Louis smiled gratefully at him, ‘Thanks Li. I’m glad you think so, hopefully Simon will too. Until then I’ll just keep doing what I’ve been doing. Practicing a lot, and hoping that’ll be enough.’

If Louis was honest, right now he was just tired. He didn’t want to talk about football or think about why Simon’s behaviour suddenly made far more sense. Of course he’d be looking out for flaws in Louis’ play when he needed a valid reason to put Dean before him again.

‘Ok…’

‘Great well, thanks for telling me.’ Louis clapped him on the back gently, ‘Now come help me beat Niall at Fifa, seriously that leprechaun is getting too cocky for his own good.’

 

 

Niall was selecting his team just as Louis walked back in with Liam in tow. Harry’s attention immediately flicked to him. He looked so soft somehow, especially since he now suddenly had glasses on. They only made his features even more defined, his entire face sculpted to perfection. Though his hair was all over the place, wisps of it falling across his forehead. Harry wanted to stroke it aside gently whilst kissing along that flawless jawline.  

‘Make fun of these,’ He said in his usual sassy way as he pointed to his glasses, ‘and I’ll kick you in the balls. My contacts were making my eyes feel dry, otherwise I would never give you laughing material at my expense so readily.’

‘I think Harry wants to do more than laugh at them.’ Niall quipped with a wink.

Harry felt his previous blush return with twice as much strength and he kicked Niall in the shin. So much as for not saying anything. He felt Louis’ confused look switch between them, unsure of what to make of what had been said and Harry’s sudden abuse at Niall. He thanked his lucky stars when Liam chose that moment to fling himself onto the other chair next to Niall and demand to have a go next at the PS4.

‘Please,’ Niall answered over-dramatically, ‘We’re not getting anywhere here. Harry keeps getting so easily distracted.’

If looks could kill, Harry was pretty sure that the one he sent Niall in response was lethal. He was enjoying this far too much. He did his best to act unbothered though as he passed Liam the remote, whilst simultaneously slanting forward to give Louis room to sit on the couch he’d been leaning against.

‘No worries, you can stay where you are Haz.’ He remarked, deciding to instead place himself on the sofa with his legs either side of Harry. ‘This ok?’

Harry made a noise of agreement to indicate it was very ok, using the opportunity to rest his head against Louis’ left knee. He watched as Liam began to end Niall’s winning streak by scoring the first goal. It was all very domestic, and Harry again felt that joy of being entirely at ease. Soon he felt Louis’ delicate touch as he began to absentmindedly card his fingers through Harry’s curls. He bit his lip to try and hide the obvious pleased grin which would otherwise takeover. It was one of his favourite things, to have his hair played with. Every finger that Louis twirled a hair around, sent a tingling sense of pleasure through him. He coughed discreetly at one point to stifle a groan. He felt Louis stop momentarily, only to continue again afterwards without letting up for the rest of the time they sat there. Harry was fairly certain he was in some sort of heaven. If the other two hadn’t been there, he wasn’t sure if he would have been able to exercise the self-control it took to not turn around and repay Louis the favour in whichever way he might want. That is, if he wanted it at all.

‘Right, we should probably get some sleep now. Early start tomorrow.’ Liam announced around midnight, and flicked the off switch on the console. ‘You two know where the guestrooms are don’t you? Everything’s already set up for you there. ‘Night.’

‘Fine, but for the record I still won the majority of those matches tonight.’ Niall muttered before equally wishing them all a good night and disappearing to the guest room.

Harry felt Louis hands still above him and heard his breathing closer to his ear as he leant down to speak, ‘Goodnight Harry.’

God he loved that voice. He gulped a little before being able to respond, ‘’Night Louis.’

It was followed by the brief feeling of Louis’ lips pressed to the top of Harry’s head and he felt his breath hitch in his throat. It was over too quick, and he was left sitting in wonderment as he eventually heard the distant sound of Louis’ bedroom door being clicked shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)
> 
>  


	6. -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of love to all of you who take the time to read this, I literally grin like an idiot every time I get a kudos so a massive dankeschön!

 

 

The cooling tap water pooled in the palm of Louis’ hands before he quickly splashed it into his face. He felt his eyes slowly begin to awaken, the droplets sending a chill through his otherwise warm body temperature. Turning the tap off and raising his head, he studied his reflection in the mirror. It seemed hazy to him in the early hours of the morning and he spent a moment taking in all of his features. Early mornings weren’t exactly the best time of the day for his spirits. Especially after a night of only phasing in and out of sleep.

He pushed his hair back from his forehead with one hand and clutched the edge of the sink with the other as he leant closer towards the mirror. He tried to school his expression into one of indifference rather than shame. Tried to blank out the fact that all night his mind had conjured up various scenarios involving broad shoulders with sturdy arms laying beneath him, green eyes desperate with need gazing up, his own hands tugging deftly on soft curls of hair, eliciting sounds from Harry which he wouldn’t be able to bite back.

The sound of a suitcase being rolled along the wooden flooring startled him back into the present. He shook his head as if it might knock some sense back into him. Liam was probably already at the front door waiting to go and he hadn’t even got dressed yet. His original plan to get up early and actually put some effort into his appearance had been a long shot anyway. Instead he chose to just grab his baggiest joggers and a plain white tee, throwing both of them on with little care. A part of him wanted to at least try to impress Harry with his appearance, and yet logic told him Harry already knows what he looks like at all times of the day, no amount of hair gel or skinny jeans would change that. And funnily enough, he didn’t want it to. There’s no way he was going to let this get awkward. It was undeniable that his heart lurched a little at the thought of the oncoming mini-holiday with Harry. Sure, the others would be there, but for the first time he wouldn’t have to deal with knowledge that Will was in the back of Harry’s mind. Maybe it’s selfish, but in all honesty, it thrilled him more than a little.

A blonde head popped around the corner of his bedroom door just as he was leaving his bathroom.

‘Hurry up Tommo we need to leave in like 15 minutes,’ Niall spoke with unusual cheer considering it was four a.m., ‘I take shotgun by the way, Liam’s driving, Hazza and you can take the back.’

‘Alright…’ Louis answered dubiously at the wink Niall gave him. ‘I’ll be right there, just need to grab my stuff.’

 

Despite it being summer, the air outside felt fresh as Louis pulled the door shut behind him. He huddled into the hoodie he’d thrown on before leaving the flat and swung his bag over his shoulder. It was still dark and the street lights glared down at him. The others were already waiting by the car, Liam trying to deal with the sat-nav whilst Niall packed the snacks for the journey into the front with him. 

‘Here Niall you can put this there too.’ Louis said as he passed a plastic bag and its contents to him after having thrown the rest of his stuff into the boot.

‘What’s this?’

‘Just some sandwiches I made yesterday for us.’

‘You cooked?’ Niall’s face was one of utter confusion.

‘Well it’s hardly cooking is it, bloody hell just how incapable do you think I am?’

Harry who had been sitting in the back already opened his door at the sound of Louis’ voice.

‘You’re here! Finally, we were about to go without you.’ He teased.

‘Would have been your loss not mine,’ he grumbled sarcastically, ‘seriously how are you all so awake, you do realise what time it is.’

His grumpiness might have also something to do with the fact that Harry looked unfairly perfect with his hair tied back into a bun, a loose red shirt which was unbuttoned in his usual manner and black skinnies that made Louis’ want to run back inside the flat and get changed after all.

Any remark Harry was about to make was lost as his eyes landed on Niall still looking baffled with the bag of sandwiches in his hand. ‘You alright there?’

‘Louis cooked.’

‘I did not fucking cook, sheesh, I just put some bread slices on top of each other.’

‘You made us lunch?’ Harry asked with wonderment in his tone.

‘Well, yeah, you could call it that I suppose.’ Louis felt himself becoming increasingly awkward, he should have guessed that going by his usual culinary record, his friends would make a bigger deal out of this than he’d intended.

‘That’s great, thank you.’ Harry spoke warmly.

 ‘But you never cook,’ Niall continued, as if trying to solve a riddle. ‘Not that I don’t appreciate it mate but, this is some form of bribery isn’t it?’

‘Niall for the last time it isn’t cooking.’ Louis replied, now almost laughing. ‘And if you must know I just wanted to repay Harold here a little. He’s always making us food, thought I could do it this time instead, even if it is just some sandwiches.’

‘I see.’ He raised an eyebrow and spared a glance in Harry’s direction who was looking at Louis as if he had brought him a pet unicorn.

‘That’s really sweet of you Lou.’

‘S’not sweet,’ Louis mumbled bashfully as he made his way round the car to get in the other side. ‘Just seemed fair. Now if we could talk about something different that would be great.’

Liam who had just finished sorting out the navigation system, unknowingly did him the favour, ‘Right lads, this thing is saying we’ve got a 4 to 5 hour journey ahead of us so best get started.’

‘Sounds good.’ Harry spoke before turning to Louis and whispering so only he could hear, ‘You are sweet though.’

Louis wasn’t quite sure how to react. Torn between wanting to deny it whilst being pleased that it was Harry who had said it. He remained quiet as he contemplated the distance between them and decided to slide into the middle seat, leaning against Harry’s side whilst stretching his legs out to the right. Immediately he felt comforted by the familiar smell and solid presence he’d sunk into.

‘I should probably keep my knee straight.’ He murmured as an excuse.

‘Good idea.’ Harry agreed, his voice low and tempting to Louis’ ear, and no it did not suddenly remind him of his dreams last night. ‘You can also take a nap, might do your mood some good if you get a bit more rest.’

‘Alright, ha ha, so I’m not a morning person,’ He arched his head to look at Harry whilst he spoke, ‘I can’t sleep in cars though so looks like you’re gonna have to put up with me.’

‘Poor me.’ He countered, and Louis felt the slight rumble of his laughter against his back.

He opened his water bottle to distract himself and took a few sips before offering it to Harry.

‘Right, I’m going to be DJ-ing this trip so if anyone has any requests let me know now!’ Niall announced eagerly with his iPhone in hand.

 

A few songs later, the car was speeding down the M6 and Harry gazed out the window at the various cars which rushed by. His heart felt on edge through the small weight of Louis’ head resting on his shoulder. It had been there for a while now and he was pretty sure that he had fallen asleep despite of what he had said of not being able to. Niall switched songs and Ed Sheeran began to sing gently through the speakers. Harry got a little giddy inside, knowing that he was one of the bigger names that would be performing at the festival on Saturday and wondered whether he would get to meet him.

He tilted his head slightly to chance a look at Louis’ face. He was definitely asleep, breathing gently against Harry’s arm. The longer he looked, the more he felt himself being drawn in by the sight. Louis’ face seemed angelically content, with his lips parted faintly in slumber and his every feature perfectly still. Harry’s thoughts automatically flicked to the song he had written to perform on his first night. It made him nervous and excited all at once. He had started writing the actual music a while back, but the lyrics had only come into being this past week. Looking at Louis now, every sentence he had put together seemed to carry even more meaning.

Eventually he glanced up again to the front where Niall was busy telling Liam all about that which he intended to do once they arrived. His eyes were arrested by Liam’s in the rear-view mirror, who raised an eyebrow questioningly at him. Harry pretended not to notice and looked away. In the end there was no real explanation for why he had just visibly been in some kind of reverie of admiration for Louis. Instead he propped his own head against Louis’ and closed his eyes in an attempt to get some sleep of his own.

 

 By the time they arrived, Louis hadn’t stopped talking since they’d pulled up at a service station two hours ago and he’d woken up to get a cup of tea which was ‘necessary to function’. After having been given the necessary caffeine kick, his mood significantly improved and Harry delighted in the infectious giggle which often poured from his lips throughout their journey.

Now as Liam pulled up in front of the hotel though, his attention wavered slightly. He was hit with sudden realisation that he was actually here and this was actually happening. Over the next week he would be performing to more people than he ever had done in his past years as a musician. Perhaps that was something he hadn’t really considered before, because now it suddenly felt as if his stomach was a puddle of nerves. What if they hated him? He wasn’t exactly a professional after all, not really…

The touch of a gentle finger pulling free his bottom lip which he’d unknowingly been biting, brought him back to the present. Louis, looking at him with concern filled eyes that seemed to penetrate straight through to his heart.

‘Harry? You ok there? I thought you were about to bite straight through to your gum you seemed so far away.’

He nodded unsurely. ‘Yeah, I’m good… Just a bit, daunting I guess, this whole performing thing.’

‘You want to do this though, don’t you?’

Harry nodded again.

‘Then I promise you, it’s gonna be so great. You’re gonna have the time of your life on that stage tomorrow. You’re gonna be tops and the crowd will love you because I mean, let’s face it who doesn’t? Trust me.’

His eyes were locked onto Harry’s as if to say he would not let go until it was certain that he accepted everything he had said for the truth.

Harry nodded once more. This time with less focus, his own eyes flickering down to Louis’ dainty lips which his tongue had briefly darted over. It was distracting to say the least. The closeness and intensity with which Louis was looking at him. Not to mention the words which came from those lips. Harry felt his tensions somehow smooth out with the knowledge that Louis believed in him so implicitly. All he could do was give his performance everything and hopefully have a blast whilst at it.

The car door furthest from them opened causing Louis to start and pull back so that he was sitting upright properly in the middle again. A suit-clad manwith a thin face topped by dark slicked-back hair, stood there holding the door open for them.

‘Welcome to the Double Tree Hotel. My name is Paul and I’ll be at your service whilst you stay here. If you’ll follow me, Mr Tomlinson I will guide you to your suite on the more private side of our establishment where Mr Horan and Mr Payne will also be residing. My colleague here,’ He pointed to a similarly dressed figure behind him, ‘will show Mr Styles to where his suite has been booked.’

Harry saw his own astonishment reflected in Louis’ expression. They were staying in a hotel which was under the Hilton chain so it’s not like they had been expecting it to be completely horrid, but this kind of service seemed a little over the top. He slowly realised that evidently the professional footballer status of his friends carried weight with it wherever they went.

‘Right, yeah, sounds good thanks.’ Louis answered eventually after his initial surprise.

They clambered out and Harry deliberately took his time with his seat belt so that Louis could stretch his right leg subtly, in case his knee felt iffy as he stood. He saw Niall and Liam a few metres away from them already being taken towards the entrance of the hotel. They must have gotten out whilst he and Louis had still been talking, he somehow hadn’t even noticed that. Louis apparently hadn’t either because he now called after them,

‘Hey, what ever happened to waiting? Some friends you are!’

Liam simply laughed, whilst Niall called over his shoulder, ‘With you two that would involve standing there all day. I want to head down to the beach before it gets dark.’

Harry couldn’t help but grin a little. Niall had a point, he could have easily stayed in that car with Louis for a good while longer as far as he was concerned.

‘You really don’t need to, I can take that.’ He caught Louis saying to the man, Paul, who was now carrying their bags away from the car.

‘Please Sir, I insist.’ He simply responded before making his way in the direction of the hotel and indicating that they should follow.

They did so, taking in the surroundings which stood grandly before them. The hotel itself appeared to be in the style of an old English manor house, with high roofs and an immaculate front lawn that seemed to reach on forever. Yet one half of it was painted a bright white, with large windows giving a modern appearance, whilst the other half had kept its original stone wall with the occasional turret appearing on the roof. Harry couldn’t help thinking that whilst it was impressive, it still looked somewhat bizarre. He turned his attention back to Louis, only to catch him tugging self-consciously on the strings of his hoodie and flicking apprehensive glances at his jogging bottoms.

‘Don’t worry, you could be wearing pyjamas for all they care, they’re just glad you chose to stay at this hotel.’ He said reassuringly before nervously adding on, ‘Plus, you still look like a model, no matter what you wear.’

Louis let out a snort of laughter and with his usual sarcasm added, ‘Thank you Haz, I’m sure I do.’

Harry fought with himself to keep quiet despite being desperate to argue his point further. The point that to him Louis was more beautiful than every other person here, that he could probably wear a bin bag and still pull it off. He stayed silent though.

They entered through a wide entrance which lead into the modern part of the building where inside it maintained the same appearance as it did outside. With ceiling lights dispersed throughout to give as bright an impression as possible, and glass doors that slid shut silently behind you as if to keep a secret. The colour of the white walls was broken by contemporary mahogany furniture and a deep red carpet. The few people they walked past were dressed in what looked like a combination of business attire and expensive taste. Harry wasn’t sure what thrilled him more. The fact that he had been booked into what seemed such luxurious accommodation, or the knowledge that Louis was even barefoot in the vans he was wearing as he strolled through it.

They were taken straight past the reception (apparently check-in in this case was not necessary) and through to another corridor which broke off in two directions. Paul went one way, whilst his colleague with Harry’s bag went the other.

‘Right well, I guess I’ll see you later once you’re done with your rehearsal.’ Louis said slightly rushed by the fact that his luggage was, figuratively speaking, currently walking away from him. ‘You’ll meet us down at the beach after yeah?’

‘Yeah.’ Harry lingered on the word, reluctant to let Louis go. Despite him knowing it was impossible, his nerves seemed to think otherwise.

Louis chanced one quick look at the end of the corridor, where Paul seemed to have forgotten of their existence in his mission to get to the room and was about to turn the corner. He stepped forward and placed a reassuring hand on Harry’s shoulder.

‘I’d go with you if it was allowed. Not that you need me there obviously, you’ll be just fine on your own.’

He smiled softly, and let his fingers stroke over the curls which fell down Harry’s neck. He kept his eyes trained downwards, apparently not daring to look up and face the tension that would otherwise confront them. Harry wanted him to though. Wanted to find the colour of his eyes confirm that he sought it to. To give into the pull that was the other’s presence. He wanted it so much that when Louis did step back, he had to lower his hand from what would have been an attempt to bring him further in.

‘Best go find good old Paul who seems to have wandered off with all my stuff.’ He said jokingly, though his voice carried a slight tremble to it. ‘See you later Harold.’

‘Yeah ok, see you later.’

 

The door closed behind Louis with a heavy clang and he leant against it with all his weight, certain he’d fall over otherwise. After having caught up with Paul, finding the room and tipping him, he finally had the peace of being alone. The moment he closed his eyes, scenes with Harry flickered through his mind. First in the car, when his resolve had almost instantly been broken by just being close to him, to now in the hallway, when he had acted like a deer caught in headlights. He banged his head against the door in frustration. He didn’t have a clue what he was doing anymore. It was as if any ability to act smooth or casual just completely flew out the window the moment he was put alone with Harry. Thing is, either he was losing all sense of judgement, or recently he couldn’t help wondering whether it might not be mutual. Alone the possibility of that had him holding his head in his hands with the frustration of not knowing.

‘Tommo? Are you in there? We’re waiting for you hurry up, time to go get us some tans!’ Niall shouted through the door to him and emphasised his point with a series of loud knocks.

‘We’ve only just arrived, sheesh you’re eager. You do realise that A – no one gets a tan here and B – especially not pasty Irish lads like you.’

‘Shut up and get a move on.’ Was the only reply he got.

Sometimes he couldn’t help wondering whether it was normal for best mates to speak to each other the way they did. Either way he hurried to grab what he needed before leaving with mixed feelings in his mind that only Niall and Liam could ever distract him from

 

 

Harry joined them on the beach a few hours later, pleased by the fact that his rehearsal had actually gone astonishingly well. The stage was bigger than any he had ever performed on, but the acoustics were incredible despite it being outside, and it had felt like a second nature to him when the music had actually began. He was fairly certain he was prepared for the next day and right now felt a little bit like he was on top of the world. Looking across the wide expanse of sand, he saw a number of people scattered across it and imagined what it would look like when crowded the next day. He approached the spot where he saw Niall’s Irish flag beach towel from a mile off, to find both him and Liam half asleep on the sand.

‘Afternoon fellas.’ He said chirpily as he dropped his own bag softly onto the sand and pulled off his top. It wasn’t exactly sun-tanning temperature, not that it ever is in England, but he figured there was a small chance he might want to swim later anyway.

‘Harrrry!’ Niall replied whilst raising his sunglasses a little.

‘How did it go?’ Liam asked before Niall could get there first.

‘Good,’ he said and felt a grin form on his lips, ‘really good.’

‘Yes! Knew it would be, all good for tomorrow then?’

‘With any luck.’ He answered hesitantly, not wanting to sound overly-confident. In the end, something could always still go wrong.

He busied himself with settling down in the sand for a few seconds before casually putting out the question which had been bothering him since he’d first arrived. ‘Where’s Louis by the way?’

‘Well I was going to ask more about your rehearsal but I see your priorities are elsewhere.’ Niall retorted without a second’s hesitation. This kid has zero chill, Harry thought with regret at ever having mentioned Louis to him.

He fixated his eyes on Niall as if to say ‘ _don’t_ ’. Despite the lack of subtlety Niall had, he was fairly sure Liam didn’t know and Harry intended to keep it that way. If they both find out, he could just picture them winking behind his back every time he even got close to Louis. Not necessary.

‘I think he’s still over there,’ Liam spoke whilst lifting his head slightly to get a better view, ‘looks like he’s still talking to that guy from earlier.’

‘What guy?’

‘Not sure actually, saw him approach Louis like 10 minutes ago for some reason though and they seem to be chatting happily enough.’

Harry looked over to where the rest of them had been indicating and immediately spotted Louis. He was in navy trunks with his hair pushed off his face and the usual smile which lit up his every feature. Next to him stood a taller man (particularly in contrast to Louis) with jet black hair and broad shoulders. His hand was placed on his hip in a conceited manner with his entire body angled closely towards Louis. Every now and then he would wink in a way which, in his opinion, Harry could only describe as creepy.

‘I think I’m just going to go for a swim.’ He said loosely as he got up, unsure as to what he was actually doing.

‘Of course you are.’ Liam replied dryly.

Ok, so maybe he did know something was up. Harry pretended to not hear it for the time being and instead focused on the scene before him. He ignored the fact that he had no plan as to what he was going to say once he reached them. Instead, the moment he got within earshot he called Louis name loud enough for him to hear and spin around instantly.

A splitting grin was spread across his face the moment he realised it was Harry. It suddenly became a more dazed expression though and his eyes seem to darken with a focus which had Harry worrying that either there was something seriously wrong with the trunks he had chosen, or hope that the rest of him was currently making up for it. He lifted his arm to push his hair from his face and give a returning smile to Louis, who only continued to look on without blinking once. That’s uhm, interesting, Harry thought whilst trying to not think too optimistically.

The man he was with appeared to be speaking, but Louis remained entirely oblivious to the extent that by the time Harry was standing next to him, he still hadn’t reacted. Feeling a little too pleased with himself, he reached out a hand to introduce himself.

‘Hi, I’m Harry. Sorry I don’t mean to disturb, just saw Louis and thought I’d come over.’

‘Ben.’ He replied whilst shaking Harry’s hand and regarding him with irritation.

Harry felt Louis gaze flick curiously from him to Ben, and then back to him again. It was possible that he was not being very discreet right now when he probably should be. He made a silent wish that this wouldn’t backfire on him. The last thing he’d want is for Louis to get angry with him for interrupting whatever this was.

‘How do you two know each other then?’

‘We only just met actually, Louis here kicked our ball back to us and we got talking.’ He said before distinctly returning all of his attention to Louis. ‘Well, if I’m honest I might have intentionally kicked it in this direction when I saw you though. Couldn’t resist.’

Louis rewarded him with a quick laugh followed by, ‘I’m sure you couldn’t.’

Harry knew he was just being sarcastic. That it was a natural, shrug off the compliment, type of Louis response. But he wanted a change of topic all the same. They endured an awkward silence for a minute before he decided to break it with the first thing that came to mind.

‘Fancy going for a swim Lou? I’ll race you to the water.’

He gave Harry a slightly bewildered look at the randomness of the suggestion but immediately agreed.

‘Why not? Wanna join us Ben? Last one there buys drinks for all of us tonight!’

Ben gave Harry a blatant look of contempt before replying, ‘No I’m alright thanks, I’m a little past that kind of behaviour. No offence intended of course to you - Harry, was it? Anyway how about I give you my number Louis and we meet up later this evening when you’re free?’

Harry took a tiny step back to let them discuss amongst themselves. He suddenly felt incredibly patronised and foolish for how he had intervened. If Louis wanted to meet up with Ben, or any other person for that matter, it was none of his business. Regardless of what he was feeling.

‘You know what, there’s no point I’d probably just lose it.’ Louis snapped, forcing Harry to look up in amazement at what he’d just heard. ‘Pleasure meeting you though, have a nice day. Come on Haz, I’ve got a race to win.’

Ben’s face fell in confusion as he took in the fact that Louis had already turned around and was currently walking away from him without a second thought. Harry almost felt bad for him and hurried to catch up with Louis who was not so quietly talking.

 

‘Fucking cocky piece of shit. Who the hell does he think he is? “Past that kind of behaviour” – what, “behaviour” as in having a good time? Cause then yeah I can see that he’s past that.’

‘Lou I think he can still hear you, you know.’ Harry answered cautiously though his thrill at Louis’ reaction was evident enough.

‘Good. Hopefully he’ll learn how to treat people with respect then. Seriously, what the hell was his problem?’

‘It was probably me getting in the way, I shouldn’t have interrupted-’

‘Come off it Haz, even if that was his plan it’s not exactly like I would have been even mildly interested.’

‘You wouldn’t have?’

‘Course not.’ Louis replied, and he stopped to turn around - their race apparently long forgotten.

‘I’m glad.’ Harry said without thinking much.

‘Why’s that?’ He asked, and Harry could tell Louis was no longer speaking casually. He seemed either nervous or confused. Maybe both.

‘Well, I…’ He struggled to find the right words. What exactly could he say that would make Louis understand just how glad he was? How could he explain it without literally stating that he had been the only thing on his mind since he had broken up with Will, and if he was honest, long before that. ‘I guess that’s just not how I’d pictured things going whilst we were here. That you’d be meeting someone new to uhm, be with.’

Louis eyes seemed to widen a little and they looked up at Harry with a sense of suspense which was difficult to ignore. ‘How did you picture it then?’

Unsure of what to say, Harry slowly reached his hand out to take Louis’ with a feather-light touch, desperate to communicate his sincerity.

 ‘Honestly?..’ He continued thoughtfully, ‘This might sound a little odd to you, and the last thing I want is to seem presumptuous and I realise this is maybe me being too hopeful but… for weeks now the only thing I can think about is-’

He trailed off towards the end, conscious of how awkward he was sounding. For the first time since he had met him, Harry felt as if he couldn’t read what Louis was thinking at all. He barely maintained eye contact almost as if he was being shy or felt uncomfortable. Yet whenever Harry did catch them focus on him, glimpses of hope radiated from the captivating blue as if he was just waiting to hear the right thing. But somehow, it wasn’t enough. What if he said the wrong thing?

‘It’s complicated,’ Harry finally spoke up again, feeling aware of how cowardly he was being.

‘Complicated?’ Louis raised an eyebrow, trying to put on a front of triviality which Harry had seen him use with others before. ‘Well, you make sure to let me know when you’ve worked it out.’

‘Lou.’ Harry said, for lack of a better argument. It felt wrong to leave it at that, he tightened his grip a little on the hand he was holding, quickly realising what he should have said but knowing that now it would just come across as damage control.

‘Race?’ Louis asked whilst freeing his hand, and Harry felt his heart sink to his gut. ‘I hope you’re ready to be spending a lot on drinks when you lose considering we brought Niall with us.’

‘Who’s to say I won’t win?’

‘Past experience,’ Louis countered with a mischievous grin. ‘And this-’

Without finishing his sentence properly, he ran for it. It took two seconds for Harry to catch on before he hurriedly stumbled after, arms flailing everywhere whilst calling him out on being a cheater. Louis ignored him and soon reached the water, crashing into the waves without much thought until Harry just heard a high-pitched,

‘Fuck, it’s fucking freezing in here, shit!’

Taking that as warning enough, Harry stopped when he reached the edge with a smug grin as he watched Louis’ appalled outburst at the icy water splashing against his skin.

‘I think we both know who the real winner is right now.’ He added on for effect.

‘Oh shut up!’ Louis shouted back at him with a cutting look which, if Harry was being entirely honest, probably turned him on more than it did frighten him.

In the few seconds that he’d lost his concentration, Louis had suddenly disappeared and reappeared only a few metres away from him. With water drops in his hair that glistened in the sun, and eyes that beat the colour of the ocean, sonnets could have been written about what Harry was currently watching. He stared on with a gulp in his throat.

‘Prick.’ Louis said, before grabbing Harry’s hand and flinging him into the depths of the water with him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope it's still worth sticking around for :D This was originally one massive chapter which I'm now dividing into two because it was too much to throw into one, felt kind of cramped if that makes any sense...


	7. -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the second half of this chapter, I very much had this song - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjALSZghw24 ('Shine' by Years and Years) in my head. In case anyone is interested :)
> 
> Thank you for every kudos and comment i've recieved. It's ridiculous how happy they make me!!

Louis ruffled a towel through his hair in an attempt to briefly dry it. His attention got distracted by the fact that his phone was currently buzzing in the bedroom next door.

‘Yeah yeah, I’ll be right there.’ He called out, aware of the fact that no one could actually hear him.

He tied the towel quickly around his waist, conscious of the fact that he still had droplets falling onto the floor but decided the phone call was probably more important. He reached it just before the last ring and held it against his ear whilst trying to avoid the wet hair that got in the way.

 

‘Yep.’ He spoke into the phone without much thought.

‘Tomlinson.’ The gravel tone of Simon’s voice brought him down to earth quickly.

‘Cowell.’ He answered lowly despite himself. Apparently his subconscious was more sass than logic.

‘Ha ha you’re hilarious.’

‘Can’t blame a man for trying.’ Louis was pretty sure he should stop right about now. Especially since Simon was calling during their holiday, which implied it was probably a serious topic that required serious attention.

‘I haven’t got the patience for this, shut up and listen.’

Louis remained silent, certain that in this case he didn’t want to overstep the mark.

‘So you do know what that means. I’d figured the concept of listening was beyond you.’ Simon said after a few moments had passed. ‘We need to have a word about the Southampton match and where you’ll be placed.’

‘Now?’ He tried to keep the irritation out of his voice. ‘Can’t it wait till we get back?’

‘No, it can’t.’

Just as he was about to add more, Louis was interrupted by the sound of the door to his hotel suite opening and Liam’s voice echoing through it.

‘Lou, you in here? Thought you might wanna join for dinner.’

He stopped when he entered the bedroom and found Louis in the middle of the room, looking slightly muddled with a phone in his hand. He held his hand out in a stop motion as if to say ‘not right now’.

‘No I am here Simon, you have my full attention. Liam’s just appeared but don’t worry I’m ignoring him.’ Louis continued into the phone.

Liam watched as a muffled version of Simon’s voice made various remarks which had Louis’ face turn sour. He could tell from the way his eyes turned hard and jaw clenched as if fighting to bite back remarks, that it was serious.

The conversation drifted on for a few more minutes and just as Liam was beginning to wonder whether it would be better to come back later, Louis spoke out impatiently.

‘Have you finished then?’

Simon’s reply seemed to be affirmative because seconds later Louis muttered an effortful ‘Ok, thanks, bye’ before he hung up and threw his phone on the bed.

 

They stood in silence for a moment, Liam hoping that he would get an explanation without having to press for one. He knew when it was best to push Louis, and looking at how tense he was, now would not be the right time.

He coughed bitterly, as if to clear his throat of the annoyance at what he had to say.

‘I have two weeks to prove that I deserve to be in the starting eleven. Otherwise, Dean has the position.’ He shook his head with a smile on his face that appeared to be mocking himself, ‘Because I’m not a “dependable” player, what with my injury and all.’

It took a few seconds of shock for Liam to catch on. Despite the fact that the possibility of this happening had been known to him, the sudden reality of it hit twice as hard.

‘I can’t believe it. We might as well just give up now if he is seriously going to put Dean in centre-forward instead of you, that guy has never even heard of the concept of ‘team play’ and he sure as hell doesn’t have the same skillset.’

Louis shrugged as if he didn’t care, or know what to say. But Liam could tell that wasn’t the case. Could tell that not for the first time in his life, he was watching his friend come close to fulfilling what he had worked so hard for, only to have it slip away.

‘It is what it is, I guess.’ His voice was quiet in the dense atmosphere of the room. ‘So, dinner yeah? I’ll just dry off and throw something on. Be right there.’

‘Lou, you don’t have to-’

‘No honestly I want to. Please, let’s just not mention this till we get back to Manchester.’ He averted Liam’s eyes before continuing. ‘This is Harry’s weekend, I don’t want to ruin it with my daft concerns.’

He wanted to reply ‘your concerns aren’t daft though’ and ‘Harry would want you tell him’, but knew Louis was far too gone for him to take any advice of that kind. Instead, he just smiled a sad look of understanding, which Louis took as reply enough to head off in search of some clothes.

 

 

Dinner was oddly quiet. Even Niall seemed to have a certain hesitancy about him. Louis guessed Liam must have dropped him a hint as to what had happened and both of them did their best to avoid the topic completely. The only silver lining really was that Harry had decided he couldn’t make it because he wanted to go over his songs again before the first performance the next day.

Louis sat there now, his eyebrows sunk in thought. His hands effortlessly using a fork to push the pasta around his plate without much intention of actually eating it. He was thankful it was just the three of them, even though he was already missing the sight of that dimpled smile to cheer him up. He just wasn’t sure he could have maintained a convincing enough exterior to have convinced Harry that everything was alright. Not that everything was all that terrible either. He had known that Simon was considering putting Dean in centre-forward, Liam had told him that. So why did this suddenly come as such a shock?

He didn’t want to lose his place. It was as simple as that. He had worked too hard, far too hard, to give it all up now. But why was he even in this position again? It hurt and he couldn’t help but blame himself. Was he not trying enough? Is this because he had become ungrateful for the opportunity and recently forgot how much he actually needed this? Had he become distracted?

He swallowed a little at that thought. His mind involuntarily flicking to Harry again. He shook it off almost immediately. Firstly because it would never get to the extent where he would be blaming Harry for his own failures, and secondly because if that really was the reason then it was particularly pathetic considering he hadn’t exactly made any progress in that area of his life either.

Everything had just become too confusing. To the point where he didn’t know what he really wanted anymore. Well, apart from one thing.

‘Can I get a Bocconcini Salad and the ricotta cheesecake,packed to take away please?’ He directed his question at the waiter just as he cleared their plates away.

‘Of course Sir.’

He simply shrugged his shoulders in response to the knowing looks he received from both his friends.

‘We can’t exactly let him starve can we?’

 

 

It took two knocks on Harry’s door before it swung open with him smiling on the other side.  

 ‘Louis.’ His usual tone of warmth came through, and it felt like a balm to Louis’ nerves.

It wasn’t just that though. It was the calmness behind those green eyes as they looked at him with a slight lull to them. It was the reddish glow from his cheeks that made him seem all warm and cuddly. And it was the curls that fell softly from the bun that loosely held his hair back.

 ‘You look, lovely.’ The words escaped Louis before he had the chance to take them back. He didn’t even want to imagine how mesmerised it had come across. ‘I mean, you look happy. As in, well. I’m guessing that means everything is going well?’

Harry blinked a few times, he looked confused yet almost bashful. It was adorable.

‘Yeah it is, thank you. Been hard work but I reckon I’m ready as I’ll ever be.’ He answered, ‘Sorry I couldn’t make dinner though.’

‘Oh speaking of which,’ Louis said, pulling out the two dishes he had brought along in separate plastic covers. ‘I figured being a baker you’d want dessert. And being well, you, you’d also want salad. I hope that’s good?’

‘Oh my god you’re the best.’ Harry replied with a genuine thrill, ‘I meant to order something from the hotel and completely forgot. You’ve just saved me from having those expensive mini bar chocolates.’

‘I’d probably eat them as well once I was done with this, but you’re welcome.’

Harry chuckled as he took the food from Louis. He placed it on a table in his room next to the door and turned to face him again. ‘Is everything good with you as well?’

‘’Course it is. Why wouldn’t it be?’ Louis asked whilst trying to ensure his voice didn’t betray him by going higher than its usual pitch.

‘Your eyes aren’t crinkling like they usually do when you smile. It just seems, offish, somehow…’

Surprised by the observation, Louis remained stunted for a few seconds.

‘I guess I’ve just finally managed to stop them from doing that.’ He explained light-heartedly, ‘Which is a relief. Makes me feel like an old man already.’

‘I like it.’

He sounded serious so Louis couldn’t help but reply with, ‘really?’

Harry nodded with a delicate smile. ‘It’s special, suits you.’

And that was just, well. He didn’t know what to do with that but continue staring at Harry with a mix of disbelief and amazement.

‘You can come in if you want? For a chat or something.’ Harry offered when he realised they’d been standing at the doorway now for a good five minutes.

Louis’ heart thudded a little louder in his chest. There was no way he could act normal and chat with Harry right now considering all he wanted to do was kiss him senseless.

‘Thanks but I wouldn’t want you passing out on stage tomorrow cause I kept you up all night,’ He reasoned, before hastily adding, ‘by talking I mean. You need your sleep.’

‘Guess you’re right…’

‘I usually am.’

‘See you tomorrow then? At twelve on the beach?’ Harry asked, a nervous sense of hope to his voice.

‘Definitely. We’ll probably be there early, need to take full advantage of the backstage passes you got us. Not to mention the fact that I can’t wait to see you blow that audience away.’

He couldn’t help but reach out a hand to squeeze Harry’s. ‘Seriously Haz, I mean it. Your voice can win anyone over.’

‘I really hope so.’

 

The feeling of trepidation which had been looming over Louis’ head the whole evening seemed suddenly gone as he walked along the corridors that took him back to his own room. The walls became increasingly grand as he went. The design of this place still made zero sense to him. Why on earth would they decide to make one half of it like an old palace and the other half like a glorified shoebox? It was just a little too pretentious.

Whatever needed sorting with his career though, he would sort out when he got back. For now, he had Harry.

 

 ---

 

Harry finished his second to last song with that distinct feeling which was like a combination of fear and excitement. Aware of what he was about to do, he tried to calm himself down. So far the show itself was enough to keep him smiling for the next month. He could bring back any memory of the endless crowd, looking up with genuine enjoyment as they shouted out to the chorus of the song, arms raised in the air. The beat thudding along to his heart whilst every melody carried his high.

But this next part, it wasn’t about the crowd. It was about the one person in it. The one person whom he had spotted out from the moment he’d walked onto the stage. He stood slightly to the left at the front. Harry had felt those blue eyes follow him around for every song. Had noticed with a silent giggle when at one point Louis had even raised himself onto tiptoes, so as to keep watching when someone cut in front. Had also noticed how he had sang along to every word, as if Harry’s music was his own. It was enough to make every word he sang feel like a dedication to Louis.

The music stopped, and the applause simmered out as he took a step back to put the mic in its stand. He stood behind it awkwardly, hands behind his back and heart in his throat.

 

‘Thanks, you’re all very kind.’ He acknowledged with a shaky smile. ‘So there’s only one song left now.’

 Various ‘boos’ and ‘more!’ erupted from the audience at that, which had him giggle slightly with flattery.

 ‘You guys are really doing a lot for my confidence,’ He added, ‘seriously thank you. I’m glad you’ve enjoyed it.’

 His eyes took in a few of the faces with gratitude, before landing on Louis again. His eyebrow was raised in a questioning manner, as if he could tell that Harry wasn’t quite as relaxed as he had been only a few minutes ago.

 ‘So,’ he cleared his throat, ‘this next song is actually brand new. As in, I finished it about a week ago.’

 Eyes still on Louis. An image of dishevelled beauty. His pixie like features contrasted heavily to the rough tank that had the words ‘Skate Tough’ scribbled on the front and dark skinny jeans to match.

 ‘I guess it’s about meeting someone in the wrong circumstances, someone who could be it. And when you realise it, you’d do anything to make the circumstances right… because it could be great. Really great.’ He added the last bit slowly with the feeling of assurance which washed over him. ‘And if it’s possible, I would give anything to start again… with you.’

 He felt his cheeks burn as he finished his little speech. Determined to make his intentions clear, he turned his entire focus towards Louis with the final words. The gaze which returned his own was one of shock more than anything else. It was enough for Harry to continue though.

‘This is Something Great.’

 

\-----

 

Louis stood frozen at what had just happened. People around him were already moving with anticipation for the next act, murmuring about who it would be and occasionally offering a ‘that was sick’, or ‘not bad’ on Harry’s performance. It suddenly felt far too claustrophobic, and far too far away from where he needed to be right now. He needed to be with Harry. Needed to see him, to speak to him. To confirm everything that had just happened as more than an illusion.

 His own feet automatically took him past the crowds, shoving people aside without much consideration and handing his untouched cup of beer to a random stranger as he fought his way past them. The more he tried to make sense of what had just happened, the more his speed increased and by the time he got to the backstage area he was practically running.

 What the fuck. What the fuckity fuck. Did Harry seriously write a song using Louis’ own words to make some sort of love declaration out of them?! Had that actually just occurred? Who does that?! Who is that bloody romantically special and thoughtful and just urgh. And how dare he stand on that damn stage and sing it directly at him? What the fuck. What kind of trickery was this? Or is it all just some massive coincidence? Who the hell gave him the right to confuse Louis to this extent?! To make his heart feel like someone had just injected it with adrenaline and act like that’s an acceptable thing to happen?

 ‘Sorry Sir, you can’t go beyond this point.’

 Some massive security guard with an arm held out blocked Louis’ path whilst looking down on him with a suspicious eye. Shit. Niall still has his backstage pass. Of course he had to be a good friend by giving his away without having thought of the consequences.

 ‘Look mate no offence but I’ve really gotta speak to someone - Harry Styles? You might know him? Tall, hairy kid with a guitar?’ He continued, perfectly aware of how edgy he sounded. ‘I do have backstage entry - pass and all that, only my pain in the ass of an Irish friend has it at the moment so I’d really appreciate it if you have like a list or something, just check that cause I’m kind of in a rush right now-’

 ‘Heyy, I’m not hairy!’

 Louis stopped mid-ramble. Perfectly familiar with the voice that interrupted him. His throat went dry and everything in him tightened with anticipation.

 

‘Harry…’

 ‘You know him?’ The bodyguard turned to ask Harry, with a tone of pity for the acquaintance.

 ‘Yeah, I know him.’

 Fuck, he looked so good. Just appearing from around the corner like some sort of figment of Louis’ imagination. With those wide olive eyes, cheeks still flushed from his performance and hair that fell in coils sinfully down to his shoulders.

 ‘Come with me?’ He said, a mixture of a statement and a question.

 Louis followed him blindly, entirely oblivious of his surroundings or where he was going. He just needed answers, and that was all his mind could focus on right now. They stopped when they reached a door to one of the rooms backstage and Harry held it open for him.

 

 ‘This is sort of my dressing room I guess? Not much but pretty cool all the same and uh since you’re here I figured-’

 ‘Harry what the fuck just happened?’ Louis blurted out, blinking rapidly once he heard his own words. Ok, brain to mouth filter once more gone faulty.

 Harry looked shocked, and almost momentarily frightened, which only confused Louis more because it was so unlike him and the last thing in the world that he wanted to see.

 ‘You seem angry…’

 ‘Angry? I don’t know, maybe? That was single-handedly the most romantic thing I’ve ever witnessed and you made it seem very much like you did it for me, but why would you do that for me? Was that really for me?’

 The desperation of his tone echoed in his ears as he spoke and yet he couldn’t stop.

 ‘Things like this don’t happen to me and definitely not with someone like you, I mean you’re Harry. You’re everything and I’m well, me, but somehow this incredibly optimistic part of me can’t help but think “what if that was for me?!” and it’s driving me mad and-’

 ‘It was for you.’ Harry cut him short and reached a hand underneath Louis’ chin gently so that he’s forced to look up at him properly. He was smiling. ‘Of course it was for you, you idiot. I thought that was kind of obvious, I might as well have just spray painted your name on the stage with how subtle I was being.’

 Louis was pretty sure his heartrate had flatlined by now.

 ‘As in like, I’m your something great?’ He asked quietly, aware of how lame it sounded. Shit he felt like he was acting about half his age right now and yet couldn’t help it.

 ‘Lou, are you kidding? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.’ Harry spoke quickly with a laughter in his tone as if it was ridiculous he even needed to say it.

 ‘I swear I’ve wanted you since the day you walked into my bakery and collected that questioningly-shaped cake for Niall with your ridiculously perfect eyes and cheeky accent and then to top it off that same day in Oceana when you called me “curly” and wore those jeans which showed off, what is quite frankly the best arse I have ever seen. And then of course as if that wasn’t enough, you turned out to be so genuinely wonderful, and funny and caring and modest and perfect and shit, I didn’t want to believe that I was falling in love with my best friend when I was meant to be in a committed relationship with someone else, but who the fuck was I kidding? And then Niall says you might have once wanted something more with me, which since then has just been a spiral of me trying to figure out if that’s the case…’

 ‘I-uhm, I-’ Louis hesitated. English was suddenly a language he no longer had any knowledge of.

 ‘I know you’ve said you’re not the type to “linger” and that this might seem kind of quick after Will on my part, but this is so so different Lou. You just make me so happy, all the time. I don’t want to risk what we have, I’m lucky to even have you in my life but I mean, I can’t help but wonder whether we could be something even more great. If we, gave it a go…?’

 ‘Let me speak, bloody hell Harold.’ Louis interrupted whilst failing to maintain any kind of coolness to his voice.

 How was he even meant to process and truly believe everything that had just been said? And yet, Harry clearly wasn’t lying. ‘Happy’ didn’t even cover what he was feeling right now, and despite his self-doubt, despite the feeling of ‘how is this happening?’ he wasn’t going to let anything ruin it for him.

 ‘You wanna know something funny? I haven’t been able to figure out why it is that for months now you’re the first thing I think of when I wake up, and the last thing I think of when I fall asleep and when you’re happy, I’m happy… And if I’m on it, I might as well admit that I’ve never wanted to make out with one of my friends as much as I do with you. Like fuck, those lips of yours and just everything, sorry I’m not particularly eloquent.’

 They stared at each other in silence once he finished. They were so close, with Harry leaning against the frame of the door and Louis near enough that he had one hand gently placed against his chest.

 ‘Can I?’ Harry asked breathlessly, his eyes pointedly looking to Louis’ lips and back up again.

 Louis barely manage to nod once before Harry took it as confirmation enough to lean down and join their mouths together. It was the most wanted Louis had ever felt. The way Harry eagerly pressed forward, pulling him in with both hands against his back and delving his tongue into his mouth as if the taste was addictive. He knew his own need was written in every move he made. With his one hand travelling up Harry’s chest and the other curved around his neck, every cell in him begging for more. He’d never allowed himself to imagine it, thought it best to not wish for the impossible. Yet now with Harry’s soft lips caressing his own in a somehow intimate and fervent manner, he knew his imagination could never have prepared him for this.

 With the hand at Harry’s neck, he reached up and stroked it through his hair, pulling deftly at the strands his fingers found. It triggered a groan from Harry’s throat which he could feel against his lips and sent an electric current of want through Louis’ body.

 ‘Shit Harry,’ He said breathless as he pulled away the tiniest bit. He added a smug smile to his tone before whispering, ‘I knew it.’

 Harry brushed their lips over each other a few times before replying. ‘Yes, alright, I might be a little sensitive with my hair. Less talking, more kissing.’

 Louis giggled, he couldn’t help it. ‘I did get the impression you quite enjoyed it last time. Actually wondered whether you’d maybe moan in front of the other two.’

 Harry shook his head a little with a grin, before pecking the tip of Louis’ nose. ‘You’re such a prat.’

 Louis ignored him and tried to make up for it by reaching up to place a row of kisses along his neck and jawline. His skin was so soft and tasted of the honey-scent that was all Harry’s.

 ‘Fuck, you’re so beautiful Harry.’

 He felt Harry swallow heavily in reaction, Louis couldn’t believe he had this effect on him.

 ‘You know, I have a theory with you too.’ He said eventually, his voice even lower than usual. Louis felt his hands travel down to the back of both of his thighs which ok, had his breath hitch in his throat momentarily.

 ‘Sure you do.’ Louis answered, confident that whatever it was he would be wrong. To emphasise that point he returned to looking directly at Harry whilst raising an eyebrow confrontationally.

 ‘Yeah.’

 Before Louis could register what was happening, Harry had lifted him with both hands on his arse and spun them around so that Louis could feel the cold wall of the dressing room against his back. He had instinctively wrapped his legs around Harry’s waist and was now left with a dazed look on his face as he took in the friction it gave and the sturdy arms holding him up.

‘I knew it.’ He smirked as he took in Louis’ clearly mesmerised features. ‘You might like to be the one who takes control on the streets, but not in the sheet-‘

 Louis surged forward and interrupted him with a deeper kiss. Partly to shut him up, but mostly because he was right.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I have a tumblr, if you'd like follow for updates: http://satellitemoments.tumblr.com/ 
> 
>  
> 
> :)
> 
> Each chapter is uploaded approx. every 2 weeks (sorry I can't get it done faster, I have a constant load of Uni assigments which I'm meant to take seriously and put first...)


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